Sadistic ?????? Whyy????

SADISTIC  PERSONALITY  DISORDER......

Its a personality  issue which is very common  but very difficult  to be revealed to people around....

Many of us are or closely  associated  to someone  like  that..... How many of us really understand  the  seriousness  of this disorder????

People who have a personality  where they cannot come in terms with  their  past agony or  those who have repeatedly scratched their hidden emotional wounds and have developed  a vengeance  for the  society  in general  but often end up victimizing known people by causing harm to them.....

Among such  people  are those who create misunderstanding  between  people, to physically  harming someone, or making  someone  feel extremely  worthless, etc.. These culprits  are many  a times not  even aware of their problems but can be viral to  the society  as one wounded  person  if finds solutions  in hurting  others , this act will continue  to spread  and create a society  filled with  sadistic  people around....

A simple  way to diagnose  this is to spot a trait  in kids... If they  start enjoying  and finding  ultimate  pleasure  by bullying  or  hurting  other children, this  can take  them towards  committing  heinous  crimes  as adults  as they have learnt that as a method to please themselves......

A simple  exercise here for each one of us is to sit quietly and  think, be it individual  or  communal  or  national..... If we heart of hearts enjoy any  inhuman act and  are convinced  that the  victim deserved it.... WE ARE SADIST AS WELL.....

We are no one to judge whats wrong  and whats right to  levy punishment  as individuals.... All we can as humans very  well judge and conclude is that.... Any act that would  give us pain should  definitely  not be levied upon  others... AS SIMPLE AS THAT.....

Let's  get over our inbuilt  anger towards any sex, community  or nation to stop  enjoying  cruel  acts as a means  to teaching  lessons  to one another..... Getting  over sadism is a huge RELIEF  to SELF  THAN OTHERS.....

Why did I meet YOU?????

WHY DID WE MEET?????

I don't  know how many of you have ever wondered as to WHY we particularly  come across only some selected  people where as this world is overly populated  and we are social  beings......

I  get to hear this question  from one person  from a couple who is emotionally  devastated  on breaking  up of  that  relationship..... I  personally  had my answers to those questions  but was a very difficult  task to explain  it to them.....

I  realised  that with each individual  in our life... Whatever  role they play... These people have met us for a reason.... The reasons  are given emotional  names  called LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, HATE, ACQUAINTANCES, etc but each has something  to contribute  in our  lives....

Sometimes, we meet someone  with a specific  reason.... It can be purely professional  and can turn out to  be a close  emotional  bond.... Some can be mere co workers, university fellow  student  or  a teacher.... But apart  from these statuses  some can  have a lifelong compassionate  relationship..... While some met with a reason  to work with, spend  life  with, etc could emerge as someone  who would  carry bitterness  all life..

Among all these  varieties  what  amazes me is that whether we like it or  not these different  categories  have ended up banging into us for a REASON.....

The REASON  isn't  too complicated  its something  we all ideally have to do as humans but as we do not simply because  of our never ending list  of  fulfilling  desires of material  things.... That  thing is... SELF SEARCH.... INTROSPECTION...
Ideally, if that  is done  we are well aware of the balancing  act of self  irrespective  of who ever we meet but IF someone  is having  some  different  effect on us  be it Good or  Bad.... It is a signal to learn something  enchanting  about our inner self.....

How do we do that??

1. Think of any xyz individual  in your life
2. Recollect  your initial  feeling  after meeting  that  person  for first time.... If a family  member  think of their  first  time heart touching  episode with them (good or bad)
3. Think of yourself as a person  in every  way... Good  and worse  NOW
4. Again  go back  to analyse  how were  you different  then....
5. Now try to figure out how  this individual  has affected you to what  extent  and  which  area of  your personality  is changed due to presence  of that  person....
6. Lastly, if the change is positive (which in most  cases would be), it will be more  enhanced then you were  probably  in that experience  to gain this  quality.. And if the change was  deteriorating  then it is time for you to distance  yourself and proceed towards  more positive  people......

This is not a very satisfying  way that  I  could have explained  but it was  a small  effort made  to probably  help some of you to perceive  your issues  from  a different  angle......

Think about it..... If any queries... Feel free to write to me at...
 
kmp6501@gmail.com

Take care....

FALLING IN LOVE or an ACHIEVEMENT??

Falling for  someone at a go can be due to many factors...
Either  it was the physical  charm
Or
Sense of showing  empathy  and understanding
Or
Intelligence
Or
Success Story
Or
Style of talking, smile, etc

It could be either  of above, all or a combination  of said traits  which  can contribute  towards an initial  attraction towards  any individual.... That is a very normal phenomenon , the  challenge  is the next stage...
Whether you  Desperately   want that person  to be in your  life as you think  you deserve  her/him...
Or
You just need to make an impression  so that that individual  falls for  you
Or
You  are a sadist and you  want her/him to  be emotionally  dependent  on  you
Or
YOU TEST YOUR INBUILT ABILITIES THAT WHOEVER YOU THOUGHT OF; YOU CAN GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP  EASILY AS YOU HAVE THAT CHARM.....

More  or  less majority  of people fall in either  of the  categories  when they say they fell in love... The category  that  took my attention  today was the  last one...

These individuals  are those who take  it up as a defeat and a challenge  to seduce the  tough  one who caught  their  eye.... Apart from those n number  of  others who were in so called love  with such people, their focus remains  on the one who seems not impressed  enough or  carried  away enough by their self believed charm.....

Its surely a human psychology  to get more attracted to something  we are denied .... But leaving it at the point  where its made clear  that opposite  person  isn't  really interested  is what  is ideal...  But NO, many of us want to prove it to ourselves  that its a wrong  decision  to reject you and thus all crazy attempts  at playing various  mind games to attract that someone....

Is this not wasting  time?????
If thought of it practically, it is satisfaction  of  our Ego that  will make us lure and seek  someone  who cares a damn..

People need to develop  an understanding, a maturity  that someone  who truly will appreciate  you as a person  will not need you playing  out these  tricks... It will be so very natural..

The problem  here is, the insecured self that  we carry, we become impulsive  and anxious  for that individual  and start making them as a life goal.....

I  can give a benefit  of doubt  to  young teens doing such things  but  what takes me by surprise  is that all age group  especially  educated, classy  type are more into this business...

Well, all I  can end with is, if this mental  and physical  effort  be done for higher spiritual goals, it will bring about a true sense of SELF ACHIEVEMENT...

TAKE CARE

Transparent SELF results in peaceful SOUL ....

Transparency  is a term which only  is used to explain  kids  as opposed to  opaque.... It should be rather explained  as Absence  of  Clarity.

I get pained  to write  about  Transparency  when I  realise  that No one including  myself  is  able to adopt  that totally  in life... Once as a child and a teenager  when being transparent  often put me in dilemmas  and the shrewd  environment  would  whisper  that  this  transparency  is not  beneficial.... Probably , materially  it is the  call for the  day but is it really helping  us at depth????

It is annoying  to me when I  am asked to reflect  half truth or  when its expected  of me to do so and this feeling  makes me  more miserable  when I  put myself in the shoes of an audience  who witness half reality  and is suppose to act likewise....

I have always  vouched for complete  clarity but society  acts as an obstacle  in revelation  of an honest say.... Its not  essential  that  honesty  will always be appreciated  but selfishly  too that  is THE ingredient  to PEACE WITHIN....

Commonly people  start to give excuses and  say half truth in most cases with an inbuilt  fear that either  that Fact would be misused or will be misinterpreted  which might  dent the well made societal  image.... Thus,  lying has become a Cosmetic  to  hide the shady areas of self but it is to  be given a positive  perspective  to  encourage  truth.... If people don't judge  one another  and don't  have relationships  pre conditioned,  it can help people in start attempting  to adopt honesty....

I decided  to follow  this after facing a turbulence  within  and this path might  not  have given me great material  success but I  have built a very honest relationship  with my fellow people  a major  part which now  includes  my clients... When they approach  me with a said  issue, I  admit to them  if I  was too victimized  with such problems  at a given point  and  it has only  helped both  me and them in acceptance  and treatment  of the  problem... Its  therefore  not  wrong  to project  ourselves  as an ordinary  human with  all routine  issues.... Its a myth that  people have  carried  within  that helping professional  can never undergo  a difficult  time.... Its more of a lie, a deception  and that might add to glory but not a long lasting  impact.....

With my experience  at personal  and  professional  front, I  genuinely  insist  that  although  a tough  path to  follow , if transparent  thought  processes  are adopted it  can save people  from many future manipulations and can help in getting  trained to having  a more open  and non  judgemental personality  to  enhance relationships...

Stay peaceful, stay happy......

Soul- mate( mating of souls)

Souls ????  
Like I always say is thought of only when an individual  dies.....  The very thing that makes us what  we are is talked of when we aren't.... Isn't  it ironical?

I always  wondered  at the term  called soul mates  and it somewhere only  pointed  out towards  the life partner... As a fact life partner  is seldom  a soul  choice, its a practical  choice  and a societal need..... This does not  mean that all couples are into a compromised  relationships  but there  are very rare cases which are soul connected....

I was more and more  curious  to understand  that  if life partner  is a soul mate then why multiple  relationships  to find that  missing part within..

There are people  with excellent  sex life with their spouses also, keen enough on their hunt for other partners.... What  is that  missing  area within which pulls one towards others whilst in a permanent  relationship?????

Every individual  here born with a soul  and body... The bodily  needs are so much focused  upon all their  lives  that  the vaccum at  soul level is still not filled... Its basically  this body that should using  its feeling  capacity that  needs to find soul satisfying  mate and enhance the inner self...

In this population  of millions  and  trillions  how will anyone  ever find that.????

I am dealing with multiple cases where there are weird  ways in which people  have banged into one another and are pulled into each other.... Not only  that.. These people have contributed  excellently in uplifting  each others lives and have made them understand  the real facts of life.

People  who are attracted  to each other feel they have met their soul mates but its often a superficial  belief  that  captures minds.. It takes  a while  to understand  if that  individual  is a soul mate????

Typically  not  easily  there is a possibility  for these  two  to get together...
There are n number  of hurdles  and  facts that  will cause hindrance  in their meeting.
The typical  thing here is  there is a selfless attraction towards that person and it's  not  logical  by  any means..
Also , these two once having met  will look out for  reasons to keep in touch... Will not leave their side.. (could be in fighting  mode too)

Last but not the least  after encountering each other.... All other relationships and partners (if any)  cannot create that impact.... There is an unsaid realisation  of the final search being accomplished....

This might sound  absurd to many  readers and I  respect  each ones views but at least a point to ponder here will be why after a completely  settled life  too there is an unknown  restlessness  within most of the  people?????
Take care.....

Telepathic communication .... Worth trying!

Ever wondered  how people sometimes  say that it was a telepathy when two  people  end up saying  the same thing  at same  time or  when  we think of  someone  intensely  and  that person  calls or  messages????  It  is even more  satisfying  than a planned meet with that  individual .

I  wouldn't  have understood  this term as well until I  experienced  few astonishing  such events  when I  could  convincingly say  that indeed telepathic  communication  is the strongest  and most intimate  type of  communication.

Like  two  parties  that are essentially  involved  in communication, even this communication  requires  two people  atleast but in my experience  even if that  individual  isn't  thinking  of you at that  moment  there  is a message  that is stored for  him/her and you will be surprised  to find an answer  from  those  people  in due  course.

I  would  at a given time keep calling  people  numerous  times  to know  their  well being or just stay connected  as I feared that  I  would  loose out on that  special  person  if I  do not  keep  in touch. It so  turned out  that  I  started to push those  special  ones away  by clinging  on to them... We are so much anxiety prone  due to various electronic  communication  means that  we want a response  to our conversation  immediately  and that creates  a big mental conflict with self and those  loved ones...

It was only  in  the due course  that  I  started to work at the deeper level and involved  those infinite  elements  present  in our universe  which are so very common  to all.....

It was my random auto rickshaw  ride that stilled my mind to someone  I was thinking  of... I  realized  dropping  a few tears while in that thought and there  I started to send those  deeply felt  messages  via breeze, via the sun rays and I  was so very sure  that  I  am able  to send across those inner feelings which even otherwise  I  would  have not  said  in person .

And to my surprise  in few days I get  a message from an acquaintance  that  confirmed  my message  being reached that person  and thus the communication  started  off with a bang...

I  know for  many of you it must  be like  a imagined or hallucinating  trait to do something  like this but its called connection  between  two  minds at that  subconscious  level which enables  this beautiful  way of  being  in touch.....

To conclude, all that is essential  in telepathic  communication  is  a still mind, intense connect  and a strong belief  in self.... Its worth trying.....

Take  care

Parents ' hidden emotions and see that in your child's personality

Usually, there are parents who wish to give away everything  for their  children  and while they are  growing  up they  also  teach them the way to manage themselves  in society ..... But this is what  any parent  in general  feel....

But...
Are we all just general  parents.... Well! NO
We all feel we are among those special  bunch of parents  who will raise kids with perfection  irrespective  of whether  how normal  or perfect  we are!!!!
Its a nice thought but often  with acute alertness also there are these hidden emotions  within us that might not be spoken  but are reflected  in one way or the other..... That  has an immense  effect  on children.

A huge responsibility  of parenting  according  to parents  is to safeguard  their image or uplift their image  in society.
Using  children  as a medium to  either  gain that status or suppression  of their individuality  to maintain  that  status  which  parents have is  something  kids give back when they grow. An ideal example  being raising  a child with expectations  that our old age will be taken care of is something  that a child will also do but with an inner feeling that "I  have no option and have to bear with this"... Thus in both  the situations  it is  verbally  not  expressed but there's  a compulsion  reflected in both actions that  I  raise  you well today and you take care of  my  old age.....

I  couldn't  stop myself from  a keen observation  as to the very emotion parents  carry while conception  which also plays  a vital role in developing  those  hidden  feelings.... If a child is desperately  needed to either for  societal  sake as a married  couple  one  should  have, or that  now we need a fulfilling  time with  someone  we can nurture  or now I  can bring up another  life who needs care(adopted kids), etc these  thoughts  are never discussed  or even we aren't  aware of but if its more selfless the more humane values the child has... Very few people  adopt children  for giving  someone  else a life most adopt to have the pleasure  of  parenting  but nevertheless  it is more selfless than a conceived  child as one needs a very generous  heart to become  non biological  parents  and that's  the beautiful thought but if all the while parents  carry that  feeling  of giving  away  their  life  to a strange kid who will be a support  later will definitely  not turn out to  be as you  have expected....

I  kept thinking  about all different  parents and different  kids they have and made me wonder  about how such selfish  parents  have such humane kids and vice versa  but nevertheless  all mentioned  here isn't  a researched fact but a general  psychological  observation  which can  surely be challenged  and can have many many factors  involved  but it was a thought we can surely ponder upon...

Me, media and Mind.....

Media or  medium  of expressing thoughts, facts, etc have always played a vital role  in capturing  people's  mind in different  ways.... Now I  can probably  better  understand  or can explain  why certain  religious  groups  condemn the usage  of  media  giving  religious  prohibition..

I , as a kid would never enjoy movies  with even slightest  of violence  and hadn't completely seen any  movie  until I  was 10 years  and could  finally  see an entire  movie ;  once from  where my immense love for movies began.....

As per age,   movies were perceived and  rated , but heading from a family  which didn't  encourage  regular  movie viewing , I  would sneak  out and  even silently  watched documentaries  which were played  then  on  Doordarshan  on Saturday  night.  I  didn't  realize  then that why would even a slow moving  art movie also could capture me totally.

With friends  only block busters were seen but as I  started  to sit by myself  and gradually  learnt the depth of any other short and subject  orientated  movie, it became  my first  choice  to see such makes.

As a professional  psychologist, I  have my own  perceptions  of the movie but now  when  my profession has tuned me to use my lateral  thinking  totally it becomes  a habit to start  thinking  as to  how each individual  personality would  understand  a particular  movie.  This process  sometimes  makes  me feel like  going and extending  my pleads to certain  filmmakers  that, "kindly  understand  the variety  of people  who might completely  misunderstand the meaning  of the movie and can take disastrous  steps blindly  following  it".

Also, when  certain highly intense  and creative  concept  is flashed  upon, it can make  any block  mind rethink about their beliefs  and  its a revolutionary  effect  if people can change  their  beliefs .... Which  again becomes  a huge responsibility  of these creative  people to put it across  so accurately  and precisely  to help minimum misconceptions  and maximum openness  and  acceptance to new ideas, the versatility  of this world  and the core human that is the pushing force for any act, thought, event, product, etc....

I  personally  salute to all those who have used this audio visual medium of expression  of ideas to generate values and creation  of  an evolved mind activity by putting  it across beautifully  as a combination  of audio, visual, glamour , music, etc can do wonders and that's  how many blocked  heads do not  perceive it as a positive contributer..

Nevertheless, to  all my lovely  readers, understanding  that any  make  is a creative child of  the film maker  should be viewed  with  an open mind but having  our own balanced  mind activated.

Take  Care....

No secrets????.... No thrills???? Really???

As a teenager , I  started to have my set of secrets right from my crushes to my friends  relationships....Fortunately  or unfortunately  I  never was in any relationship  to feel the need for additional  baggage  of carrying  secrets but now  since last few years I  was pondering  upon a thought  as to why was the  need or why should  people do that???
Now  as a psychologist, when  people  open up to quite  an extent , its so hard to understand  that why  having a parallel  secret life commonly  existing.

On a deep thought, I  realized  that its a personality  issue at times and at times a confidence issue but the bitter truth is that  this leads  to many psychological  and mental problems later.

I  would often as a kid sneak out to watch movies  if I  wasn't  permitted  but have never  really  enjoyed watching  with total  fun as deep within  guilt would keep me disturbed. The  inner disturbances  then would  lead  to looking  out for further fun and recreation  to wipe out the guilt. This can get into a viscous  cycle  of lying , getting  disturbed  and further lying  to seek solution  for  disturbances...

Having  realised this as an important  reason  for  inner peace destruction  I  vowed  to stay secret free but when I  find others  who do crazy unethical  stuffs without  any so called need just because  having  everything  under the sky but without  effort isn't  giving  them enough  thrill, its sad.

We humans  want  to live in society  as per its norms  but want to explore  things without  boundaries  and  this  conflicting  state  gives an enough reason  for  people  to run a parallel  secret life with a clean existing  visible  life.

Fulfilment  of all basic needs should ideally take us to next level to do something  towards  the society  but with our goals so very much surrounding  our own bodily needs we seldom wish to walk  an extra mile to feel genuinely  thrilled  having worked  towards a social cause...

Therefore , at  every stage be confident  in your thoughts  and actions  to help  you  in living  a transparent  life as a concealed  secret life with  momentary  thrill will take you to a disastrous  future.

Take care.

Psychology of gifting!!

Gifting!
Something  we all do and also  receive... Ever wondered  why do we do  that???

A strange  thought  that  travelled  across my mind  as to  why and  how  this  custom  of  gifting  started??

At one point  I would think it was only a set custom  to gift but customs are also man made so the thought that leads  to such customs was worth the study.

The fact that  most  of  the population  experience  a happy  feeling  when they receive  any gift but over the period  this feeling  also leaves a stressful effect due to given reason that as....
Now a days  when corporate s have indulged into gifting  people with  free holidays, coupons, other facilities , its now become a mindset of many individuals  too who gift in anticipation  of any future benefit.

At times it would be replaced with an intangible thing like blessings, gratitude, token of appreciation  and a very sweet feeling  when you missed  those people at times.

I realised the ill effect when I  experienced  from a close  relative who seemed burdened  to  give  away customary  gift on  a said occasion  and made the receiver feel like a pauper... This disgust  was more  annoying  as it  murdered  the sweet feeling  of giving  away  the gift. Its not  therefore  mandatory  to like the gifting  process  but the lying  idea or feeling  associated  with it is more valuable  which should  be sustained.

I as a kid would always feel that non occasional  gifts was a sign that  the gift receiver was  missed  and  remembered  so much which is indeed a very touchy thought. I wish to continue  the practice to  if I  can gift casually,   but often struggle  to understand  if its the same  with others or its a mere  exchange. Nevertheless,  each individual  should  operate with their inbuilt  perception s about  this but having  a different  outlook isn't  as bad.

A thought  that  takes me deep into  this  is that  as humans  we are more  in love with tangible  things than intangible  like body  is more  taken  care of than soul and somewhere  just to work on the same principle  I  guess people back then ages ago might  have  started  to  give away a physical  thing accompanied  by those  deep feelings which cannot  be felt otherwise  or easily expressed in words.
And thus the tradition of  gifting  on various  occasions  would have begun...

To conclude, its not  the promotion  of gifting  that  I  am aiming  here but its a thought provoking  effort here to not crush the sentiments  for any inconvenience  felt to indulge into gifting... Because  in the long run people  don't  remember  what was gifted but always  remember  how and why was  it gifted(with what  depth of feeling).
Remember  Sudama's gift  to Krishna??? ... It was the intention  that  left its mark  not  the material.

So people ! don't  try to go out of the way to impress  people with expensive  things but make sure you have packed right emotions  in the gift!!!

Hey molestor!!!! You need treatment. ...

Its late already to touch upon this topic but better late than never!!!

As I was growing up I have had my part of wierd experiences with KNOWN PEOPLE who misbehaved thinking that under the tag of an ideal adult they could easily get away with the CHEAP and INHUMANE act of molesting.... and they are in the denial mode that they have. ...got away from that crime.

Basically,  people who get into such acts are suffering from a mental ailment where under the cover of  sophisticated citizens these individuals easily brush against the bodies of vulnerable people like small kids and women where the chances that their identity will be revealed are very feeble.

The very first episode of SATYAMEV JAYATE by Aamir Khan on Indian television shouldn't have come as a shocker if each one would peep within their own personna or their trusted people who show absolutely no apparent signs of being lusty but leave no chance to dance upon a given situation.

Having a sexual desire is natural,normal but to target these weak sections of society to fulfil that need is nothing but an insensitive act which reflects an illness at MENTAL LEVEL..

This illness is as common as diabetes or blood pressure or cholesterol issues which don't show any sort of abnormality but is surely unhealthy.

Why most of the population even if they don't believe in GOD will never kick an idol or holy book as subconsciously it generates a fear that this can turn into a curse like life events then why something that is a clearly an act of sin..... not understood? ??

The reason being among all other value education no one teaches the ill effects or harm caused to generation s after such crimes are conducted. Everything is revolving around SEX and MONEY  but still no one would take the responsibility to open up that area for discussion and inculcating right knowledge from its do's and don't s....The more closed this topic is kept more and more people sneakily get into such heinous acts without even understanding its filthy seeds being implanted at the subconscious level.... victims of such events either get into more dangerous crimes or an extremely complexed mental self which is an additional danger to the entire society. ..
A few minutes pleasure at the cost of harming someone at that deep level ...more dangerous at mental than physical is like contribution in increase in birth of criminal s in society. ...

Apologies to anyone reading this who under any influence has committed such offence.... try to reach out to those whom you have molested and beg for forgiveness as that can help them start their life without any prejudices. ..also any one vulnerable in any form ....learn to respect the human in that individual and stop yourself to take an undue advantage of the situation to fulfill all hidden lusty desires.....

Being a grown up adult is a role of responsible individual ....let our behaviour make people trust and believe that we deserve the respect of an older citizen.....

Old = BOLD ....let's unfold the truths of dating older men /women

Young girls getting attracted to older men has an old history and to name a few aspects that encourage such relationships are financial security, more matured mentally and sexually ,etc but the new tendency of men getting carried away by older women is what's worth peeping in for this day....

Like the two factors that were prominent in dating older men ...applies to older women more weight being given to the sexuality and approach they carry along.
JLo ,Demi Moore who ve had partners a way too younger to them say something bold about these women. ...their independent lifestyle and their emotional maturity plays a very vital role in attracting young men towards them. 

Men today are more liberal,open minded and less egoist which enables them to appreciate and look upon a lady achiever with respect and accept that as her ability. ..many a times the respect factor turns into emotional bondage and end up into physical encounters. ..but the hard fact is many a times it is sheer physical attractions that lead to being in relationship.

The focus here is not majorly on factors responsible for such ties but how far these relatrelationships survive ???

Statistically, all combination of relationships have their high and low numbers but such ones where too high age difference is the most disturbing truth in shattered lives.

Among all the juicy facts associated with older women. ..a bold outlook, a stable mindset ,an independent thought process and physical awareness of needs it surely sounds worth a try but but but.....life after sex..is what people never think of...

Is life after all those amazing explorations going to be worth sticking around with where goals ...life goals. ...soul goals come on surface..

Again,  talking about soulmates if one feels having found in one another (such odd combination s) is yet another topic to discuss about; but being into human form how sensible is it to get into a relationship where apart from a few enchanting factors to get you together there are hundreds more to get you apart??? Give it a thought.

The idea to elaborate and touch upon this issue was to make an effort to make people realise the grounded realities that isn't any fairy tale which can help in long lasting and happy survival of such relationships...

Thus. ...it  is very natural to get mesmerised into someone (most of the boys are in love with their pretty teachers during puberty. ...) it doesn't  mean that  it has to be carried forward to another level...it can create many disturbances to the existing life  for a zero future.....

Therefore...to all my lovely readers.....keep in mind :

Fall in love...don't get collapsed !!!!

Quick fixes leads to quick wear offs. ..

As the trend goes. ..its an era of quick fixes. ..
Quick solutions are in peak demand for any so called problems. ...be it weight loss or skin care or broken vehical or be it a disturbed marriage or relationship. ...

People today are born with impulsive trait. ..which essentially has a feature to get us a very rapid and instant solution to most of our issues ....be it material or emotional. ...

Technology with its tremendous progress has enslaved all of us so badly that  we all want everything here and now...

To give instances. ...every professional to repair a gadget  or this body is just a phone call away .....thus  patience is not practiced at all..

In reality the damage caused is not by these quickly available food and professionals but when human emotions too are tuned to quickly falling in and out of love. ..as options are available everywhere. ..
The puberty phase that makes kids fall in love which in reality is nothing but a hormonal act of life makes them ruin careers and later end into quick breakoffs that land them into emotional trauma and a few such episodes lead to a generalisation about the entire concept of love and the other destructive field of addiction (substances like drugs,alcohol,etc) captures them .

The way relishing a meal for a good amount of time...a course wise dinner would lead to a more fulfilling experience and a happy mind. .people need to understand that giving reasonable time to relationship without getting into fast flowing experiments and thrills in togetherness will help sustain the bond of interest for long.
A relationship should grow with you and should bring those hidden potential out from one another which will take that union to a different level altogether.

Don't exploit each other so hastily that the bond becomes aimless to carry on further especially during those rough patches of life where true Integrity is seen.
Thus....an insight that relationship is not about partying and playing and excursions. ..its about growth as partners...as humans... is needed.

Let's enjoy the journey slowly. ..

Soft personality = bottled up anger

How many of you really think that people who do not express anger do not experience anger? ????

The truth is that Anger is an important emotion which is very very natural to all humans.  Anger is experienced by each one of us in different ways and circumstances. ....The most common reason for anger is un fulfillment of desires ....it could also arise when unmatched views have to operate in unison or at times when inbuilt thoughts and apprehensions aren't well perceived by others....so on and so forth.

As a general tendency we  only draw judgements about people from their behaviour and those who are expressive of their anger are termed as aggressive and rest as composed. Only a more deeper and explicit study of these composed people will highlight their part of anger which is well bottled up.

Societal point of view these individuals are well mannered, balanced people who seldom create any chaos due to their anger but its extremely harmful for these individuals and their family members to face its ill effects later.

Any emotion ,if not expressed (in an assertive way ) or vented out can have devastating effects on the mental and physical health of such people .The fact that if anger as an emotion has creeped in the system if not
Cautiously removed will slowly and gradually make its way deep within the subconscious where most of our productive thoughts emerge. ..those thoughts that help in better life experiences are sabotaged and that results in developing health issues....(both mental and physical)

People with such extreme rope walking trait who are very very alert in non aggressive behaviour are usually those who are living in a denial mode that they never get upset and have an urge to lead a life with an image of very calm and composed individual...this so called respect gaining attribute proves fatal when life challenging health ailments hit them or they loose mental control towards the fag end of their lives....

I thus would end with a plead here that let's accept anger too as a natural element and rather than letting it settle into our systems let's learn a way to vent it out using various psychological techniques. ....
In this health conscious era today ....why ignore Mental Health? ???

Stay Fit and Happy.....

Effective Communication with High EQ

Communication ...considered and believed to either create problems or end problems. ..

Where does your pattern belong???are you able to bring about solutions or create confusions by speaking? ????

The truth hidden behind your pattern is your EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE or EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT (EI or EQ)

Unlike IQ ..which is God gifted..EQ is mouldable...which means we can develop EQ as high as we want....
The fact which was established that all those who are full of life and highly successful are a combination of 80% EQ and 20% IQ...This reflects the importance of EQ in our lives.

Basically a high EQ is helpful in following ways:
Understanding Our own emotions
Understanding others emotions
Management of our emotions
Management of our relationship with others.

All these create an individual's life the way they are existing. ..There is communication which is directly influenced by our emotions. ..not necessarily only verbal even non verbal communication which is often not in control speaks even louder than words! !!

So how do we communicate effectively to express honest emotions without offending others is a crucial art each one must develop.

Few steps to communicate well with emotional quotient :

1. Understand self emotions(feeling sad, happy,jealous, guilty,angry ,etc)

2. Put yourself into others shoes and try to perceive their possible emotions. ...

3. Manage self emotions (like if feeling angry. .try to first calm down after realisation of anger...)

4. Rehearse or plan to express your actual emotion in a very assertive manner and then actually speak up without fumbling or getting anxious or aggressive. ..(e.g. to express a dislike in behavior to someone you  say, "I understand that you have your reasons too but the way you behaved was offending and I am pretty much hurt. ")
This part is very important and  delicate ..if not delivered well can ruin things further. ..

This requires continuous practice and is an essential part to lead easy life...

For any workshops or personal counselling for the above feel free to message on kmp6501@gmail.com.

Good Night Yoga – A Pose-by-Pose Bedtime Story – By Mariam Gates

Friends with benefits! !!!!!!

A Very Happy Friendship week to all !!!!!

Friends Forever is like a history in this jet age....especially if Friends are made with a selfish motive....

As a teen and even now meeting a friend for me would necessarily being connected to an individual who is so special that you are completely yourself at heart and soul which is generally less felt with relationships demanding a protocol.

Today as I understand things differently its rather very sad to realise that more and more people are looking at having Friends With Benefits! !!

For someone who isn't aware of this term; FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS are those friends who are more interested in being physically intimate with one another than emotionally .
The day I learnt this fact I was under a cultural and emotional shock as I found many who were playing this without offence.

There was once I heard that friends at school level are selfless but I guess its for most UNTIL YOU HIT PUBERTY ...because after which its not really sure as to who is friends with each other for they appreciate their inner person or the physical personality. ...

I still believe that friendship is one of the most closely felt among all societal relationships as there an individual is totally accepted without any barriers. ...the contamination of using this so very therapeutic relationship into a selfish physical act is not an everlasting bond..if its treated with BENEFITS..

Let me explain it this way...

A friendship which might definitely have a strong attraction for each other but converting it into a physical relationship leads to destruction of the friendship...as those individuals who never rated or compared one another on any other basis as their emotional comfort levels were excellent suddenly start to prioritise the friends where physical benefits are concerned ...this fact itself is an end to this so called lovely bond of being friends. ..

Many divorced couples are best friends later which means they were more friends then physical partners but it's not the way friends are chosen. ....Friendships just happen by itself its not what we choose on the basis of various benefits that could be derived out of it.....  and now I genuinely feel great to see people having friends with lesser looks, money, etc as it was that indivduality of a person which made him or her worthy of being a friend. ..

FRIENDS ARE A THERAPY IN ITSELF ....let's not pollute this very special relationship with any selfish motives.....

Wealth Accumulation Disorder

Greed as a Mental-Health Disorder

Greed can be traced to conflict in the unconscious mind.

Narcissism and greed produce personal and national self-sabotage.

People don’t have to be rich to have the disorder; greed about money is all it takes. As a psychiatric diagnosis, it could be called the Great Gatsby Syndrome or, better yet, Wealth Accumulation Disorder.

Both narcissism and greed have their roots in profound self-doubt. Narcissism is self-aggrandizement of the emotional kind, while greed is self-aggrandizement of the materialistic kind. Narcissism (when it occurs as pervasive grandiosity) is listed as a mental disorder in psychiatry’s diagnostic manual. Why not greed?
Narcissism and greed have other aspects in common. They both arise as disorders in people who, in their unconscious mind, are aligned with the conviction that they’re lacking in importance, significance, or value. Such people have difficulty feeling or accessing their own essential value. Instead, a deep negative sense of self contaminates their emotional life, and they resonate or identify with this inner default position.
Narcissists deny or cover up inner truth by believing, as they shower themselves in self-admiration, that they truly want admiration from others. Greedy individuals, meanwhile, believe they really want to feel value and worthiness, yet they go chasing after an illusion of value—materialistic self-aggrandizement—that can only deepen self-alienation.
All of us experience self-alienation at times.

Above lines are quoted by a mental health professional to which I need to support a few facts I observed while studying these cases...

Accumulated wealth is not only creating a mental sickness to the primary individual but also his family as the very sense that funds are lying in lots to either exploit it totally in yet other bodily pleasures or accumulate further more.

The sickening can be traced out by following traits seen in such people:

1. The idea that they can be in demanding position is often an urge behind fund accumulation.
2. The constant fear of negative things happening in future leaves them panicked and pushes toward more money.
3.The followers list is something these people crave for....they know that if not their inbuilt ability but wealthy status will pull more and more people towards them.
4. And the WORST OUTCOME. .. as money pulls more money by wealth growth planning. ..it becomes a habit to indulge into all or many unethical activities including womanising,  gambling, alcohol,  drugs etc as deep within the loneliness is creeped up.....

Having wealth is not criminal but the greed to have more and more is definitely dangerous as the disorder results in non functionality of balanced mind to skilfully use money for society as well...

Let's ponder on this. ...

Breast CANCER AND EMOTIONS .....

Cancer in the breast gland

The word lobular stands for cancer (cell growth) in the breast gland. It is caused by unexpected and dramatic worry or argument conflict. In the conflict phase there is cell growth of the breast gland cells. 
The biological purpose is this: If somebody needs my tenderness and care more milk is produced to give the “nutrition” in the situation. It is a completely normal process during a pregnancy. If and when you solve the conflict the whole organism switches to the regeneration phase. Then the tumour is destroyed with the help of mycobacteria. There is pain, swelling and odour. If there aren’t enough with myco bacteria, then the body encapsulates it. Cancer in the Breast Ducts Cancer in the breast ducts is in the layer that forms the walls of the breast glands. It is caused by a unexpected and dramatic separation conflict, when for instance an individual is being separated from a partner, parents, child or home. 
In the conflict phase there is cellular destruction in the breast which causes loss of sensitivity, the biological reason is to be better equipped to cope with the separation. In the regeneration phase there is cell growth to build up what was lost during the conflict phase, which leads to intensive swelling behind the nipple, inflammation, enlargement and hypersensitivity. 
After this healing the breast ducts are stronger than before. Findings of a Study Events like divorce, to be made redundant, or the passing away of a family member are associated with a higher risk that those affected by it develop breast cancer. (American journal of Epidemiology 2003;157:415-423) 

 
 The facts stated above might not hold true in every case but lets not forget that Psyche and Emotions form a major aspect of an Individual which undergo turbulent phases in this life span .All sorts of emotions are natural to human beings but venting out the negative ones is a crucial daily process which is as important as exhaling carbon dioxide or having a healthy digestive system. Combined with major other environmental and physical factors we SHOULD NOT IGNORE EMOTIONAL FACTORS that secretly contribute to the development of this deadly illness. As a RELATIONSHIP EXPERT ,I advise my clients to on a regular basis pen down their routine daily emotions which might be an unknown cause to further aggravate the building of emotional baggage leading to these issues.

Life will never be steady...UPs and DOWN s form the pattern of life  but if DOWN s aren't managed  well it leads to not only mental illnesses but illness that lead to DANGEROUS physical ailments ....Thus...lets take charge of our selves...and maintain a balanced mind that would help non aggravation of many physical sicknesses.

Extra Marital Affair ??? Or Extremely Selfish? ??

A Man seeks help when he is on the verge of hampering his professional image on account of his numerous affairs .....The story he told others was an old emotional tricky one that his wife is not supportive.... having more than a few dozens of girlfriends and still on the go was indeed an ailment he suffered from but there are people (both men and women) who start feeling a vaccum in relationship and are easily attracted to others .Being attracted to someone is a very common phenomenon ,the highlight is what each one does after that first vulnerable feeling....?????

It is not that all marriages are soul connections..
Many are compromised and many loose flavours over the years and these aspects are triggers to fall for someone else. ...its considered as  an anti social act to fall in love after marriage. .. it has its own reasons but the mentality of people who want their spouses intact and have a spicy life out is something that is cruel and completely negative. ...

Falling in love more than once in lifetime is experienced by almost all...some acknowledge it some don't but having a committed social relationship is termed as marriage and as a societal element we need to respect that or completely walk out.....the problem areas majorly are those who on account of not loosing out on social acceptance secretly maintain such affair and are self centred enough to have pleasures of stable family life and spicy secret life..

Some couples who don't indulge into secret affairs together set out to have fun and practice SWAPPING of partners and get a feel of loyalty ...the hidden urge in anything above is to get more than you have....it starts with DISSATISFIED APPETITE and NEVER ENDING THRILL that ends as a ruined life later....

If in any case the partner genuinely is unfit to stay with there are separation laws to officially start off a new life but unfortunately there are more cases found where both current partner is also wanted (for many reasons like...share in property, kids,social status etc) and the beloved friend with benefit is too a part of life.... This attitude is not healthy for even the individual and badly hampers the fragile minds of children (as it will not remain a secret for life....) who again refrain from serious relationship as they do not believe in loyalty.
If a person knows that living with one partner is difficult then a choice to NOT MARRY and NOT HAVING CHILDREN is worth the decision. ...

Have a good life!!!!

Today....is being a parent difficult or being a child????

PERFECT CHILDREN or PERFECT PARENTS? ???

A 16 year old comes and cries in front of me and while sobbing she complains how she isn't understood well by her mother.....

Often here when it comes to girls they start developing a gap with mothers  and mothers  with part ego and part worry are shattered with child showing indifference. ..

Similarly boys who again get into difference are diverted to peer groups with an effect of substance s getting them intoxicated. ..

These were some routine examples but having regular compliants of  rebellion attitude also gives rise to worry among parents. .

Having said all this. ..what seems more difficult? ??being parent or children? ??
Well definitely a tie but to be a child with mindless parents is definitely a curse....
No parent is evil especially when kids are concerned but like many other aspects a balanced parenting requires open mind and high level of acceptance.

From schooling to career parent's are competing amongst each other ...many a times it makes me wonder ,is it the child who is really of concern or is it your parenting that will be well appreciated with the childs performance. ...

Parents too ,being ordinary human at heart never realise when children become the objects of their unfulfilled aspirations and are unintentionally victimised to beat the million others to prove to be a good child. ..

It's like an implied game adults play using children as coins to prove themselves to be winners ...

Becoming a parent (whether it was planned or otherwise) is completely our responsibility but the child isn't our property ...they have an individual self which beyond a level should be allowed to learn with mistakes too. ..just stand by your child to guide them through at all important junctions. ...

Keep smiling!

I Am Always RIGHT! !!!!

I ,The Personal Pronoun I!

I is the most important element in this Universe and the weakest of all also reflect the strongest of "I".

Often we find ourselves justifying our point even after the apparent conflict is over but we fail to realise that we have given rise to internal conflict.

To make it more explanatory ;

Every moment or many times we undergo many differences with people around us ,be it personal or professional. All of us have a personality formed influenced by our cultures,education, intellect ,environment and experiences. These factors have a very strong hold over our thought processes which generally work in a set direction and at every stage in life we feel we have gained the ultimate knowledge from which we form firm blocks. ....these blocks close our mental doors to any conflicting yet innovative thought presented by someone ....this is when the urge to pour out our valuable belief is at its peak. Most of us even end up doing that but what is the outcome? ????

If people agree with us we feel elevated and more we firmly tighten our belief systems but ....If someone who disagrees;  we as humans cannot bear the EGO being challenged. ..intellect, etc being questioned  to which our emotions get deeply affected and a simple discussion or episode becomes conflicting. ...

The conflict thus ended even if was favoured in our interest after the storm of emotions poured out over the simple thing "I  AM RIGHT"....is raising an Internal conflict with self as it's this intellect that needs a stamp ....SOUL IS NOT EVEN CONCERNED with what's the conflict leading to.....

To put it in simple words. ...All Our Achievements ,Recognitions are for this societal approval of our existence ,the core self is not affected by our superficial acts thus I AM RIGHT really shouldn't have any impact on our peace within. ...
Approved or disapproved  by others if internal peace is stable then YOU ARE RIGHT,ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!!!!

What IF????IF (I FEEL)

I didn't post any message for a while as I was not sure of the subject  that would touch upon all in one way or the other....then there was this sudden realisation of a simple term that we are so very much connected every second. .that was FEELING.

By FEELING , I don't really mean all different emotions right now but a particular emotion we go nuts with...FEAR... And that raises all doubts in us stating What IF??

Being an ordinary being we end up assuming FEARFUL things moment we start on the lines of WHAT IF? ??

I was only wondering if those fears could be well replaced by any wonderful assumption wouldn't it be amazing? ?? Like for instance. ..A thought before any action in normal case ...What if I undergo so and so problem ...it will surely make us prepare for the contingency but can reduce the happiness substantially but the other thought...
What if I have an amazing experience? ?? This thought will boost up your confidence and motivate you further. ...

The point here is the IF should be understood as I FEEL and added with all positive possibilities to feel excellent about going for that act...

So next time try and replace any negative IF's  with a positive Possibility To Feel The Difference. ...

Stay chilled....

Are we leading a reel life or real life?

Many a times we all would have heard somewhere that this life we have is a stage performance and that the almighty is the director. There are times when we encounter deaths ,we are all in a position to realise this fact and we understand that indeed we have this temporary role to play and get back to reality called soul's journey to hunt for its resting abode.
It is said that a child born is quite unaware of his surroundings and is in the adaptation mode to wait and watch the position or life he or she has received. ..With absorption of this world within, individuals start realising their given role in life and many of them crave for better role and many keen on maintenance of that role and even passing it on to their next generation is all that is being worried for.
In the process we tend to forget the purpose of each one being placed in a role to enhance their self within the given surroundings (role) and gradually promote to main roles where by they can fulfill the demands of that character.
To put this in our lives. ..each one with whatever assets we are born with is a start up to enhance our self to the level where we can bag the higher roles to feel worthy and special .The problem today is we all are eyeing towards that great role ( having name,  fame,  money) and are so deeply involved in rushing towards that that we seldom justify the original place we are actually in. Which implies if one person cannot fulfil his basic requirements of that given status is he or she worthy of that high status he /she aspires for?
 
To put it differently , when people who have resources cannot spare for society where millions are struggling to get basic needs fulfilled, the greed with which people accumulate and desire to pass it on to generations is a disease which will never let humans strive for the real purpose of life. That is where it can be well quoted that we are all leading REEL life and no one knows the meaning of REAL life. Having adopted a religious stand doesn't mean that people will start learning about essentials of life...it again involves people in different ritualistic drama which is far away from soul learning. Each thing we have in life including religion,money, people ,etc is a tool to help us understand that ULTIMATE TRUTH but we all get trapped in these toys and keep playing with them until we die...
The REAL LIFE is rare to live and the only way we can learn is to study that self we actually are!

WHY ME???(now)Better ,stronger ME (Later)

Life portrays this question to all of us time and again in a given episode WHY ME?  The devastated self,its helplessness to fight back and the worst evil....ACCEPTANCE of the fact leaves us hopeless.

The reason or situation could be anything from a failure in any area to death of a relationship or a victim of any calamity all these feel the same way and atleast once people question their self...as to WHY ONLY ME????

In our routine course we do understand that one given situation at one or the other time will and would have hit many others but as a victim we do not want to consider the fact of all those others traumatised we only focus on  our self.

Its a common human tendency to self pity and sympathise but can we humans who softly tenderly massage their wounded aspects of life also form yet another habit to put forward this question of WHY ME?when showered with happy moments. ...

Well! Sounds good but how often have we genuinely felt that we dont deserve this happiness ..... NEVER .
Then we also ideally are not suppose to feel devastated on being given our part of sadness.

The debate is not on human tendencies the focus area is to not feel shattered in a given darkness of life. The therapeutic way to console self which indeed is the bare truth that Life after each such episode of WHY ME???
converts us into a person who has to be and feel a BETTER ME as the given event is a step and a process to discover the hidden strength we all possess to stand against and fight back the odds that have erupted .

Thus to conclude whenever you want to question Why Me ?  Say to self I am in the process to redefine the strong ME and emerge with greater human values....

Take care....

Complex with self is a complex life!!!

A COMPLEX in psychology would mean perception of self ,emotions etc..
Its this complex that creates millions of complexities in our lives...
Development of any complex is the outcome of any positive or negative aspect of a person given too much importance .......
The qualities be it good or bad that make a person is that individual s personality. .. Its possible to change some whereas some are non alterable...what is important is how we perceive those for creating a self image.

As each one is a blend of both positives and negatives we as humans get particularly attached of some specific quality and then the entire self picturization process starts and affects every aspect of our lives.

To start with someone in specific too concerned about a particular negative trait or an average recipient of any  thing say looks or skin colour or financial status or belonging to any special category (limb loss or organ damage )
;these can make a permanent impact on an individual psyche and will overlook all those abundant positive traits possessed by them and will remain under the dark shadow of these missing parts. The emotional perception that gave rise to an inferior feeling will never let them enjoy all wonderful aspects they already have.

The other type of perceiving self on the basis of those few with good fortune that may have of good intellect,looks,body , money has such a deep impact on people that they forget that they lack some basic other qualities needed to live and at times almost experience a denial mode of being in human race..this very high self perception is a superior complex which often wouldn't let people remain grounded and which also hampers their inter personal relationships.

There are then these highly self obsessed people who under some silly inferiority cover themselves with a fake superior image and fool themselves. ...for instance people who are self absorbed due to an inferiority and cannot tolerate other personalities often stay aloof and present themselves as a non social individual.

We all would again fall into both or all three categories to an extent but the most important thing is to realise and accept both positive and negative qualities we possess and try and create an honest self image to avoid falling into pits created by falsified self projections and lead a simple life and thus avoid complexities we raise for ourselves...

Love yourself....

Spirit +Ritual =SPIRITUAL

Having attended two ceremonies side by side; one involved death and other marriage. .... both had its connection to soul..

Death involved soul departure where as marriage involved soul union but what was real was death ....I was not really sure about soul union within the marriage. ..

The astonishing facts were that both these events had lots of RITUALS involved in them.... the idea and logic which make these rituals so popular is the belief that it is essential for soul satisfaction and soul gratification. ...as I said its a BELIEF!!!!

BELIEF is the most sensitive thing for any individual and we love our beliefs even more than ourselves. .the prime example is observation of strict rules and regulations as that is the belief which will get us closer to GOD. ..Now most of us aren't really enjoying all these regulations nor do we really understand but we follow under the pressure of BELIEFS.

I need to replace this word BELIEF with yet another strong word FAITH ..Faith is a remedy to avoid or defeat FEARS .Our faith in GOD or MESSENGER OF GOD is a reflection to our degree of fear factor.

The energy in UNIVERSE is the energy in our SOUL as we are suppose to be its part in bodily form...therefore a soul out from body will be one with universal energy and that in marriage is essentially merging of two energies. ..

The Rituals followed are right from the birth until death and there after (in some cultures) is for the soul ....therefore we humans are nothing but SPIRITUAL BEINGS which means this human form thus we are blessed with should practice a ritual of soul enhancing but what is happening is only and more so at physical level which mechanically involves set of activities termed as rituals..

A ritual for spirit should be the focus on this inner self  and only the self within can help in merging this soul energy with the universal energy ...that's what we term SPIRITUAL!
Which also will guide us through the physical lives we live and towards an end that is the ULTIMATE TRUTH.

The sad aspect is that the RITUALS have become so dominant that SPIRIT IS FORGOTTEN for which all the pains are taken. Ritual performance can take a toll on people in every way as it involves a lot of physical and financial contribution but is that what is actually a SOUL NEED????

Let's ponder on this thought and understand why we follow so many things without an understanding and how can we enhance our very own self to get that spiritual content and feel blessed...

EGO....End of GrOwth......

EGO -as a psychological concept balances the mind and its anti social activities that is demanded by the subconscious ....
In world today EGO has been replaced by the set boundaries and norms created by the intellect and knowledge that we have gained with our attitudes towards life and experiences of life. Thus,  an ego hurt is any act or episode or person acting against our set borders and norms. ...
We as humans need assurance from people that we are supreme and that makes us achieve all our material goals and at a level we actually start feeling great about our so called success and knowledge that we virtually start feeling like rulers of people around us especially friends and family and that is the evolution of this highly dangerous thing called EGO.

Let's put it this way the day we start feeling supreme in our own self is the time we have closed all the doors of learning and enhancing. It's the end of self improvement or self nourishment when we have blocked our selves to our own limited knowledge. ..Ego is thus something we have to use it wisely as a tool to prevent this mind in nurturing unethical thoughts but rather not make it as powerful that it ceases to let us grow and learn more....

An individual with a self oriented perception and limited knowledge and intelligence will only lean against the cushions of EGO..
Its a pitiful state as EGO IS AN ILLUSION THAT WILL DESTROY SELF WORTH...

TAKE CARE......

Let's use the APP called Appreciation! !!

APP as in applications we are soo very much used to having in our gadgets ....let's download some great one's in life among which primarily stands this wonderful App called APPRECIATION....

APPRECIATION  necessarily means BEING THANKFUL and acknowledging the good things happening with us and in our lives. Its very simple and easy to keep cribbing about our issues which most of the times are self created and the fact is that complaints will never solve an issue....thus its a very easy technique to get rid of complaints that we have from our lives by following these steps:

1.whatever or who so ever is the cause of our issues has to be imagined being absent in our lives.

2. The benefits or basic existence of elements arising out of that individual should be taken into serious consideration. 

3. We as individuals should use the given intellect and think in other perspective. 

4. Out of all the perspectives we definitely will have atleast one which  will give  us a solace and a feel good factor.

Therefore the bottom line is that the APPRECIATION OF GOOD THINGS AND PEOPLE WILL ADD ONLY PEACE IN OUR LIVES and Complaining will only cause us the pain...lets start using this APP NOW!!!!

Humour is a good tumour. .........

 TUMOURS in body aren't natural and needed but Humour is an essential ingredient of life..

One is Life Threatening and other is Life enhancing. It requires lateral thinking and all together a different perspective to look at things .All serious most issues can give a lightened  effect with a tinge of humour added to it.

There is a mentality existing which says that people cracking jokes on so called serious issues aren't sensitive enough ......rather its to be taken in a different way to see its other side and feel a bit stress free ......

According to Psychologists Sense of humour says a lot about the hidden personality of a person as it can reflect the inner conflicting issue an individual deals with or a sense of confidence in that area.

There is yet another fact attached to Sense of humour and that is Men are more expected to have a sense of humour and are appreciated where as women with great sense of humour aren't well accepted especially by men.

The possible reason to this could be that intelligence required for good sense of humour is not often believed to be present in a female. 

The underlined reality here is that Humour is an essential part of life and it 

Naturally helps to temporarily relieve stress even though it cannot get us to solutions but gets us to that state of mind which enables us to find solutions. ...

A soul is a soul. ...with or without a body...

A horror movie that reflected a soul that possessed a body for some left over vengeful desire. ...reminded me of the very fact that WE ARE ALL PRIMARILY SOULS and LATER THIS BODY. ..each religion and philosophy has repeatedly focussed the attention on this TRUTH.

What bothers me is something I understood quite late and I still wonder.....if we are souls ...whom we love or hate are also souls and we very comfortably mingle then those BODYLESS SOULS who are all around us don't much bother us too but those with whom we have had a bitter relationship and is no more physically existing we go bonkers to even accept that for a moment if they still are around and if yes with what hidden desire....

As humans when we pick on an individual we try to be winners all the while and don't hesitate to hurt millions of souls  that are our friends and family and a human..and that seldom makes us scared but the same soul without body scares us to a crazy level.....

Quite an interesting query I looked for an answer and then my guess was that probably we know that body has a limitation SOUL never has any and it is that power which can give people jitters. ..

The point we all need to understand is that why then not treat our fellow beings (the souls) with respect and don't worry about the threat as an effect of self guilt which always will have its powerful impact someday.

Do  not take souls with body for granted to make you worry about its reactions after leaving their bodies. ...

On path of humanity such fears will never affect us...
Lets follow humanity.

Unwinding ....at work? ??

Office Affair...very common and very very stressful especially if you already are into a committed relationship...

Out of my total case studies I am dealing with I come across atleast 30% of cases with corporate employees that involve a relationship complication.

Why do people get into the pit after understanding all of its side effects? ??
Few reasons:
Long hours spent at work
Eventually getting more closer to colleagues .....

Some emotional crises at personal front also influence the  attractions at work especially for all those who constantly aspire fun and are dissatisfied in life. .

To put it the other way WHO IS  TOTALLY  SATISFIED? ??? very few...

IF WORK IS WORSHIP WORKPLACE SHOULD BE A HOLY PLACE ..

Finding a partner and settling down is a fateful episode but continuing to find pleasures after a settled life is No Less Than A  Disastrous situation for future. 

Identifying the ideal person in a colleague is very very common but NOT forgetting the struggles , pains and efforts taken to reach that career destination is very important so as to help in distancing self from that ideal individual who too has a personal life back there. 

The side effects of such pleasures that are seeked could be very dreadful:

The pain an Iindividual can go through in terms of a messed up personal and professional life can leave him /her devastated to even feel stable of self.

Societal image destruction that they can encounter will also hamper the SELF CONFIDENCE LEVELS....

Temptations are at every level...slipping away will be hard to deal with...not everytime your inner self will have enough strength to get up after that great fall!

(A SPECIAL MODULE DESIGNED FOR CORPORATES IS ALSO UNDERTAKEN)

THE EMPHASIS IS ON EMOTIONAL LIFE ENTANGLED WITH CORPORATE LIFE...

Set you free and you are mine!

We come across thousands of people in our lives ....we forget some,  we become friends with a few and rest are all acquaintances but sometimes there we bang into an individual who can be neither be a plain acquaintance nor can remain just a friend and can neither be forgotten and can definitely not take any place in our lives as a societal bond...how do we deal with these soft areas in our lives? ???

First we find extremely hard to supress the emotional attachment that starts off as a wave and it's stormy effect can shaken up the well settled physical lives...then the phase comes which has a compelling idea to express it out without considering the consequences of the same on both individuals and their surroundings. ....it is this testifying period that requires utmost endurance and self study to understand if that connect with a stranger is at which level...physical or emotional. ...given a loose end we are normal humans who can nothing but end up expressing it all at a physical level but the fact is it will fade away as soon as the physical connect is accomplished and very few such encounters find that spiritual connect....

To feel the soul and go beyond the superficial expression its very important to hold your affection within....selflessly love the other soul and let time express the strength that your bond shows and wouldn't care if you physically have that person with you or not...both of you will always be of prime importance for one another.
The insecured self of ours will never allow us to let go of that person but the astonishing and magical part is that if that is your twin soul ....(a connect at  soul level) you have that soul all yours once you set them free.
That's the most divine and peaceful feeling and you develop a new definition of LOVE.....

PAST is USELESS Thus USE IT LESS!!!!

In all cultures HISTORY is preserved too well...why ???not only the culture we belong to we also need to know about other cultures as in study their history. ..

It's a practice but why are historians not in as much demand as inventors especially the innovative creative minds? ??

As history has its limited but vital use in living present and designing future only upto an extent that past mistakes aren't repeated and past winning stategies could be further improvised it serves ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER PURPOSE.

Similarly people who keep past wounds alive by pricking it at regular intervals is only pushing them more and more into the darkness of self mourning and narrowing the world upto their personal lives.

All those who are alive today have a YESTERDAY which was either good or bad but except its few glances it has no big use.
Thus....Past is USELESS OR RATHER USE IT LESS......
so that after extraction of useful ingredients it has to be trashed in the mental trash can for good.

Let's stop putting ourselves and many others into an agony by narration of past events as it steals away the present productivity. .

Tip*

Make a mental or physical note of past smartness and foolishness and compartmentalise it accordingly for future formation. ....

Perfection is a Myth !!!

Picture perfect!!!
Yes,somewhere we all desire to be or to have a life which is flawless.
If not life,then at least there's a strong push and desire to create a PERFECT HUMAN CHARACTER of people around us.
I need not pick anyone else;it was a trait I have lived with.
Hard to believe for many readers here but yes talking about SELF on a platform that gives access to all is only the best way to explain this fact.
Living a life trying to create people and ambience to that picture perfect standards have taken a toll and inspite all the time and effort put I still couldn't achieve that satisfying state and was in constant stress and eventually loosing self confidence of not being able to achieve it all.

Better Late Than Never !!! Fortunately some wisdom entered into me and there was a timely realisation that PERFECTION IS A MYTH! And this fact is in itself  self explanatory . I am not too happy to see people going crazy over that perfect state as I know they are chasing an illusion.
Let's focus on children who are or who are made so perfect in their way by so called perfection striving parenting that if all goes well in their training there's something called as natural disasters which many a times play a villian in damaging that skillfully created perfect picture. We often forget that what we are trying to create best is after all LIFE ; that is beyond human control so....do we really make it flawless????think about it..
Anything that is flawless is lifeless!!!!!
As life is bound to change and change means things and traits being misplaced. ...

Therefore, I learnt after some wastage of time but many spend their entire lives to create that perfection. .

Strive to achieve goals but let your goals be realistic and let's try to create a vision to see amazing thrill and beauty that imperfection can bring along.

Enjoy living an adventurous life !!!!!