Seek within....

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Quick fixes leads to quick wear offs. ..

As the trend goes. ..its an era of quick fixes. ..
Quick solutions are in peak demand for any so called problems. it weight loss or skin care or broken vehical or be it a disturbed marriage or relationship. ...

People today are born with impulsive trait. ..which essentially has a feature to get us a very rapid and instant solution to most of our issues it material or emotional. ...

Technology with its tremendous progress has enslaved all of us so badly that  we all want everything here and now...

To give instances. ...every professional to repair a gadget  or this body is just a phone call away .....thus  patience is not practiced at all..

In reality the damage caused is not by these quickly available food and professionals but when human emotions too are tuned to quickly falling in and out of love. options are available everywhere. ..
The puberty phase that makes kids fall in love which in reality is nothing but a hormonal act of life makes them ruin careers and later end into quick breakoffs that land them into emotional trauma and a few such episodes lead to a generalisation about the entire concept of love and the other destructive field of addiction (substances like drugs,alcohol,etc) captures them .

The way relishing a meal for a good amount of time...a course wise dinner would lead to a more fulfilling experience and a happy mind. .people need to understand that giving reasonable time to relationship without getting into fast flowing experiments and thrills in togetherness will help sustain the bond of interest for long.
A relationship should grow with you and should bring those hidden potential out from one another which will take that union to a different level altogether.

Don't exploit each other so hastily that the bond becomes aimless to carry on further especially during those rough patches of life where true Integrity is seen. insight that relationship is not about partying and playing and excursions. ..its about growth as humans... is needed.

Let's enjoy the journey slowly. ..

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Soft personality = bottled up anger

How many of you really think that people who do not express anger do not experience anger? ????

The truth is that Anger is an important emotion which is very very natural to all humans.  Anger is experienced by each one of us in different ways and circumstances. ....The most common reason for anger is un fulfillment of desires could also arise when unmatched views have to operate in unison or at times when inbuilt thoughts and apprehensions aren't well perceived by on and so forth.

As a general tendency we  only draw judgements about people from their behaviour and those who are expressive of their anger are termed as aggressive and rest as composed. Only a more deeper and explicit study of these composed people will highlight their part of anger which is well bottled up.

Societal point of view these individuals are well mannered, balanced people who seldom create any chaos due to their anger but its extremely harmful for these individuals and their family members to face its ill effects later.

Any emotion ,if not expressed (in an assertive way ) or vented out can have devastating effects on the mental and physical health of such people .The fact that if anger as an emotion has creeped in the system if not
Cautiously removed will slowly and gradually make its way deep within the subconscious where most of our productive thoughts emerge. ..those thoughts that help in better life experiences are sabotaged and that results in developing health issues....(both mental and physical)

People with such extreme rope walking trait who are very very alert in non aggressive behaviour are usually those who are living in a denial mode that they never get upset and have an urge to lead a life with an image of very calm and composed individual...this so called respect gaining attribute proves fatal when life challenging health ailments hit them or they loose mental control towards the fag end of their lives....

I thus would end with a plead here that let's accept anger too as a natural element and rather than letting it settle into our systems let's learn a way to vent it out using various psychological techniques. ....
In this health conscious era today ....why ignore Mental Health? ???

Stay Fit and Happy.....

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Effective Communication with High EQ

Communication ...considered and believed to either create problems or end problems. ..

Where does your pattern belong???are you able to bring about solutions or create confusions by speaking? ????

The truth hidden behind your pattern is your EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE or EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT (EI or EQ)

Unlike IQ ..which is God gifted..EQ is mouldable...which means we can develop EQ as high as we want....
The fact which was established that all those who are full of life and highly successful are a combination of 80% EQ and 20% IQ...This reflects the importance of EQ in our lives.

Basically a high EQ is helpful in following ways:
Understanding Our own emotions
Understanding others emotions
Management of our emotions
Management of our relationship with others.

All these create an individual's life the way they are existing. ..There is communication which is directly influenced by our emotions. ..not necessarily only verbal even non verbal communication which is often not in control speaks even louder than words! !!

So how do we communicate effectively to express honest emotions without offending others is a crucial art each one must develop.

Few steps to communicate well with emotional quotient :

1. Understand self emotions(feeling sad, happy,jealous, guilty,angry ,etc)

2. Put yourself into others shoes and try to perceive their possible emotions. ...

3. Manage self emotions (like if feeling angry. .try to first calm down after realisation of anger...)

4. Rehearse or plan to express your actual emotion in a very assertive manner and then actually speak up without fumbling or getting anxious or aggressive. ..(e.g. to express a dislike in behavior to someone you  say, "I understand that you have your reasons too but the way you behaved was offending and I am pretty much hurt. ")
This part is very important and  delicate ..if not delivered well can ruin things further. ..

This requires continuous practice and is an essential part to lead easy life...

For any workshops or personal counselling for the above feel free to message on

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Friends with benefits! !!!!!!

A Very Happy Friendship week to all !!!!!

Friends Forever is like a history in this jet age....especially if Friends are made with a selfish motive....

As a teen and even now meeting a friend for me would necessarily being connected to an individual who is so special that you are completely yourself at heart and soul which is generally less felt with relationships demanding a protocol.

Today as I understand things differently its rather very sad to realise that more and more people are looking at having Friends With Benefits! !!

For someone who isn't aware of this term; FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS are those friends who are more interested in being physically intimate with one another than emotionally .
The day I learnt this fact I was under a cultural and emotional shock as I found many who were playing this without offence.

There was once I heard that friends at school level are selfless but I guess its for most UNTIL YOU HIT PUBERTY ...because after which its not really sure as to who is friends with each other for they appreciate their inner person or the physical personality. ...

I still believe that friendship is one of the most closely felt among all societal relationships as there an individual is totally accepted without any barriers. ...the contamination of using this so very therapeutic relationship into a selfish physical act is not an everlasting bond..if its treated with BENEFITS..

Let me explain it this way...

A friendship which might definitely have a strong attraction for each other but converting it into a physical relationship leads to destruction of the those individuals who never rated or compared one another on any other basis as their emotional comfort levels were excellent suddenly start to prioritise the friends where physical benefits are concerned ...this fact itself is an end to this so called lovely bond of being friends. ..

Many divorced couples are best friends later which means they were more friends then physical partners but it's not the way friends are chosen. ....Friendships just happen by itself its not what we choose on the basis of various benefits that could be derived out of it.....  and now I genuinely feel great to see people having friends with lesser looks, money, etc as it was that indivduality of a person which made him or her worthy of being a friend. ..

FRIENDS ARE A THERAPY IN ITSELF ....let's not pollute this very special relationship with any selfish motives.....

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Wealth Accumulation Disorder

Greed as a Mental-Health Disorder

Greed can be traced to conflict in the unconscious mind.

Narcissism and greed produce personal and national self-sabotage.

People don’t have to be rich to have the disorder; greed about money is all it takes. As a psychiatric diagnosis, it could be called the Great Gatsby Syndrome or, better yet, Wealth Accumulation Disorder.

Both narcissism and greed have their roots in profound self-doubt. Narcissism is self-aggrandizement of the emotional kind, while greed is self-aggrandizement of the materialistic kind. Narcissism (when it occurs as pervasive grandiosity) is listed as a mental disorder in psychiatry’s diagnostic manual. Why not greed?
Narcissism and greed have other aspects in common. They both arise as disorders in people who, in their unconscious mind, are aligned with the conviction that they’re lacking in importance, significance, or value. Such people have difficulty feeling or accessing their own essential value. Instead, a deep negative sense of self contaminates their emotional life, and they resonate or identify with this inner default position.
Narcissists deny or cover up inner truth by believing, as they shower themselves in self-admiration, that they truly want admiration from others. Greedy individuals, meanwhile, believe they really want to feel value and worthiness, yet they go chasing after an illusion of value—materialistic self-aggrandizement—that can only deepen self-alienation.
All of us experience self-alienation at times.

Above lines are quoted by a mental health professional to which I need to support a few facts I observed while studying these cases...

Accumulated wealth is not only creating a mental sickness to the primary individual but also his family as the very sense that funds are lying in lots to either exploit it totally in yet other bodily pleasures or accumulate further more.

The sickening can be traced out by following traits seen in such people:

1. The idea that they can be in demanding position is often an urge behind fund accumulation.
2. The constant fear of negative things happening in future leaves them panicked and pushes toward more money.
3.The followers list is something these people crave for....they know that if not their inbuilt ability but wealthy status will pull more and more people towards them.
4. And the WORST OUTCOME. .. as money pulls more money by wealth growth planning. becomes a habit to indulge into all or many unethical activities including womanising,  gambling, alcohol,  drugs etc as deep within the loneliness is creeped up.....

Having wealth is not criminal but the greed to have more and more is definitely dangerous as the disorder results in non functionality of balanced mind to skilfully use money for society as well...

Let's ponder on this. ...