Toxic Relationships....!!! (Take a call)

I am wondering, how did I take so long to write something on toxic relationships... When now I open my mental eyes to witness so many I have pulled on for such a long span of time....

I have this weird habit of giving huge benefit of doubts to almost all the people I know, the end result was not bad when my personal growth was concerned, it did reflect a lot of things I needed to change in myself but somewhere in personal front when my close few were concerned some being relatives and some very close friends I was still emotionally getting harmed.... I did blame and worked consistently on my EQ(Emotional Intelligence) levels to bring about a peaceful state within but still something was a miss.

It was then when this insightful thought came up and I realized that I was completely unaware that I was holding on to TOXIC relationships with way too many people.

Like there's this relative of mine who herself has a very very low self image but will not hesitate to put me down when I myself sportingly can crack a joke on self... Similar is a so called VERY GOOD friend who will only and mostly indulge into conversations when she puts down other people criticize or condemn their actions and simply NAG, again an inevitable lady who can only self pity.... Surrounded by people like these, even if there's nothing sad happening in my life, I would be subconsciously pulled into their negative stride..

Such characters are there everywhere, but because of those cultural values instilled in me to keep up good relations with all I was taking in all the toxins. It is a threshold in life where one has to decide if we can overlook such negative people and yet move on with them or if our personalities cannot walk through them we need to leave them at one point.. It will take me a 360 degree turn in my personality to turn off from such people, it is now more a medication for my mental health whether it is a perceived as arrogance or attitude or aloofness.....

One another such relationship that I held on was a childhood friend and I should have taken a hint from the very approach that if its giving me a feel of worthlessness why on earth would any such person be important to me???? It is often a self created mental injury where you go with a platter of Emotional weapons and invite them to assault you with their silent violence.....

Its all about taking a responsibility of self... NO ONE EXCEPT WE ARE ENTITLED TO SELF CARE.. Its waste blaming people and circumstances, its time to MAKE A CHOICE.... with an EQ so poor, for people like me it takes their whole life to take stand but  BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, whatever few years we have to live, lets not live in regret that you didn't take care of your self dignity.... I still don't have ego to accept that few people are close to my heart but I need to give myself the due respect rather than expecting it from those who would only walk over calmly into their comfort zones...
Either ways, being easy is not to allow people to TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE, its about EASILY side tracking too all those who cause us discomfort....

Take care...

STOP being that TEACHER.....

A school going kid or an ailing old man
Self proclaimed wise, a human creature
Ready to guide, lead and be a preacher
We seldom have learnt yet aspire to be THAT Teacher... 樂樂

Advises are for free, in fact it is the only thing given generously and abundantly to whoever and wherever... I am saying this when my profession is to only COUNSEL but yet this is the core truth we all need to accept.. I can only pass on my academic and experienced knowledge to people approaching me but no one has gained that supreme power to be a life guide to anyone... A simple fact being HUMANS are born out of HUMANS, A formation of cells but yet a DIVINE creation which cannot be captured into books and scriptures.

From the time we begin to read and write and in case of illiteracy, a growth in age, we assume that we have that special ability to teach others.

Teaching worldly matters is bookish knowledge which is learnt after gaining prescribed qualifications from man made universities and there's this tag of a TEACHER given... It is a Noble deed to teach children but NO ONE can possibly take the charge to teaching people LIFE LESSONS as these are those which each individual learns in their different ways.. Life lessons aren't same as virtues and morals and ethics... These too are transferable.... Life Lessons are those special things learnt via life events.

Its amusing to see those specially who are carrying immense weight of their self generated EGO s and SUPREMACY who take up this charge to teach people lessons... These unfortunate people take rejection and apologies way too seriously and march towards becoming a life teacher to someone to merely live peacefully in their self created bubble. If there would have been a vision to see things beyond, no one individual will try overpowering other come what may...

Its now hilarious to see people exploiting someone merely to feel a high to having made them learn something crucial... In fact, its a foolish act to feel high over fellow humans who have created disrespect towards that bubble owner and these so called learned, wealthy or high profile Someones are deteriorating in their own self image.

The practical examples of such dumb heads are destruction of something or someone physically, mentally, emotionally to win over that conflict or difference...
Acid users for rejection of an individual proposal...
Physical, sexual benefits for someone in need of job or favor
Monetary or financial exploitation in exchange of an apology or helplessness
Etc
etc

Practically, every one is trying to teach someone else that if he or she is good at exploitation, they are supreme and they better be respected... This is like Robbing Respect which is most difficult to earn but each one wants to SNATCH IT, FORCEFULLY ACHIEVE IT.... The foolish human kind, in the race to capture that RESPECT from fellow human beings are more and more indulged into inhuman acts to ONLY gain DISRESPECT....

In nutshell, we shouldn't condemn ADOLF HITLER, for he had the insanity to openly go brutal to gain the superficial GODLY power, we are even worse, under the skin of nobility, we are on a constant run to teach LIFE LESSONS to all those who are against our belief systems in most cruel ways that can literally make people stop believing in HUMANITY on the whole...

God bless these LIFE PREACHERS and save victimized students of such TEACHERS....

LET'S NOT TAKE THE CHARGE OF TEACHING OTHERS, IF WE CAN POSSIBLY LEARN SOMETHING FOR SELF, IT WILL BE MORE THAN SUFFICIENT.....

Why did I meet YOU?????

WHY DID WE MEET?????

I don't  know how many of you have ever wondered as to WHY we particularly  come across only some selected  people where as this world is overly populated  and we are social  beings......

I  get to hear this question  from one person  from a couple who is emotionally  devastated  on breaking  up of  that  relationship..... I  personally  had my answers to those questions  but was a very difficult  task to explain  it to them.....

I  realised  that with each individual  in our life... Whatever  role they play... These people have met us for a reason.... The reasons  are given emotional  names  called LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, HATE, ACQUAINTANCES, etc but each has something  to contribute  in our  lives....

Sometimes, we meet someone  with a specific  reason.... It can be purely professional  and can turn out to  be a close  emotional  bond.... Some can be mere co workers, university fellow  student  or  a teacher.... But apart  from these statuses  some can  have a lifelong compassionate  relationship..... While some met with a reason  to work with, spend  life  with, etc could emerge as someone  who would  carry bitterness  all life..

Among all these  varieties  what  amazes me is that whether we like it or  not these different  categories  have ended up banging into us for a REASON.....

The REASON  isn't  too complicated  its something  we all ideally have to do as humans but as we do not simply because  of our never ending list  of  fulfilling  desires of material  things.... That  thing is... SELF SEARCH.... INTROSPECTION...
Ideally, if that  is done  we are well aware of the balancing  act of self  irrespective  of who ever we meet but IF someone  is having  some  different  effect on us  be it Good or  Bad.... It is a signal to learn something  enchanting  about our inner self.....

How do we do that??

1. Think of any xyz individual  in your life
2. Recollect  your initial  feeling  after meeting  that  person  for first time.... If a family  member  think of their  first  time heart touching  episode with them (good or bad)
3. Think of yourself as a person  in every  way... Good  and worse  NOW
4. Again  go back  to analyse  how were  you different  then....
5. Now try to figure out how  this individual  has affected you to what  extent  and  which  area of  your personality  is changed due to presence  of that  person....
6. Lastly, if the change is positive (which in most  cases would be), it will be more  enhanced then you were  probably  in that experience  to gain this  quality.. And if the change was  deteriorating  then it is time for you to distance  yourself and proceed towards  more positive  people......

This is not a very satisfying  way that  I  could have explained  but it was  a small  effort made  to probably  help some of you to perceive  your issues  from  a different  angle......

Think about it..... If any queries... Feel free to write to me at...
 
kmp6501@gmail.com

Take care....