No secrets????.... No thrills???? Really???

As a teenager , I  started to have my set of secrets right from my crushes to my friends  relationships....Fortunately  or unfortunately  I  never was in any relationship  to feel the need for additional  baggage  of carrying  secrets but now  since last few years I  was pondering  upon a thought  as to why was the  need or why should  people do that???
Now  as a psychologist, when  people  open up to quite  an extent , its so hard to understand  that why  having a parallel  secret life commonly  existing.

On a deep thought, I  realized  that its a personality  issue at times and at times a confidence issue but the bitter truth is that  this leads  to many psychological  and mental problems later.

I  would often as a kid sneak out to watch movies  if I  wasn't  permitted  but have never  really  enjoyed watching  with total  fun as deep within  guilt would keep me disturbed. The  inner disturbances  then would  lead  to looking  out for further fun and recreation  to wipe out the guilt. This can get into a viscous  cycle  of lying , getting  disturbed  and further lying  to seek solution  for  disturbances...

Having  realised this as an important  reason  for  inner peace destruction  I  vowed  to stay secret free but when I  find others  who do crazy unethical  stuffs without  any so called need just because  having  everything  under the sky but without  effort isn't  giving  them enough  thrill, its sad.

We humans  want  to live in society  as per its norms  but want to explore  things without  boundaries  and  this  conflicting  state  gives an enough reason  for  people  to run a parallel  secret life with a clean existing  visible  life.

Fulfilment  of all basic needs should ideally take us to next level to do something  towards  the society  but with our goals so very much surrounding  our own bodily needs we seldom wish to walk  an extra mile to feel genuinely  thrilled  having worked  towards a social cause...

Therefore , at  every stage be confident  in your thoughts  and actions  to help  you  in living  a transparent  life as a concealed  secret life with  momentary  thrill will take you to a disastrous  future.

Take care.

Psychology of gifting!!

Gifting!
Something  we all do and also  receive... Ever wondered  why do we do  that???

A strange  thought  that  travelled  across my mind  as to  why and  how  this  custom  of  gifting  started??

At one point  I would think it was only a set custom  to gift but customs are also man made so the thought that leads  to such customs was worth the study.

The fact that  most  of  the population  experience  a happy  feeling  when they receive  any gift but over the period  this feeling  also leaves a stressful effect due to given reason that as....
Now a days  when corporate s have indulged into gifting  people with  free holidays, coupons, other facilities , its now become a mindset of many individuals  too who gift in anticipation  of any future benefit.

At times it would be replaced with an intangible thing like blessings, gratitude, token of appreciation  and a very sweet feeling  when you missed  those people at times.

I realised the ill effect when I  experienced  from a close  relative who seemed burdened  to  give  away customary  gift on  a said occasion  and made the receiver feel like a pauper... This disgust  was more  annoying  as it  murdered  the sweet feeling  of giving  away  the gift. Its not  therefore  mandatory  to like the gifting  process  but the lying  idea or feeling  associated  with it is more valuable  which should  be sustained.

I as a kid would always feel that non occasional  gifts was a sign that  the gift receiver was  missed  and  remembered  so much which is indeed a very touchy thought. I wish to continue  the practice to  if I  can gift casually,   but often struggle  to understand  if its the same  with others or its a mere  exchange. Nevertheless,  each individual  should  operate with their inbuilt  perception s about  this but having  a different  outlook isn't  as bad.

A thought  that  takes me deep into  this  is that  as humans  we are more  in love with tangible  things than intangible  like body  is more  taken  care of than soul and somewhere  just to work on the same principle  I  guess people back then ages ago might  have  started  to  give away a physical  thing accompanied  by those  deep feelings which cannot  be felt otherwise  or easily expressed in words.
And thus the tradition of  gifting  on various  occasions  would have begun...

To conclude, its not  the promotion  of gifting  that  I  am aiming  here but its a thought provoking  effort here to not crush the sentiments  for any inconvenience  felt to indulge into gifting... Because  in the long run people  don't  remember  what was gifted but always  remember  how and why was  it gifted(with what  depth of feeling).
Remember  Sudama's gift  to Krishna??? ... It was the intention  that  left its mark  not  the material.

So people ! don't  try to go out of the way to impress  people with expensive  things but make sure you have packed right emotions  in the gift!!!

Hey molestor!!!! You need treatment. ...

Its late already to touch upon this topic but better late than never!!!

As I was growing up I have had my part of wierd experiences with KNOWN PEOPLE who misbehaved thinking that under the tag of an ideal adult they could easily get away with the CHEAP and INHUMANE act of molesting.... and they are in the denial mode that they have. ...got away from that crime.

Basically,  people who get into such acts are suffering from a mental ailment where under the cover of  sophisticated citizens these individuals easily brush against the bodies of vulnerable people like small kids and women where the chances that their identity will be revealed are very feeble.

The very first episode of SATYAMEV JAYATE by Aamir Khan on Indian television shouldn't have come as a shocker if each one would peep within their own personna or their trusted people who show absolutely no apparent signs of being lusty but leave no chance to dance upon a given situation.

Having a sexual desire is natural,normal but to target these weak sections of society to fulfil that need is nothing but an insensitive act which reflects an illness at MENTAL LEVEL..

This illness is as common as diabetes or blood pressure or cholesterol issues which don't show any sort of abnormality but is surely unhealthy.

Why most of the population even if they don't believe in GOD will never kick an idol or holy book as subconsciously it generates a fear that this can turn into a curse like life events then why something that is a clearly an act of sin..... not understood? ??

The reason being among all other value education no one teaches the ill effects or harm caused to generation s after such crimes are conducted. Everything is revolving around SEX and MONEY  but still no one would take the responsibility to open up that area for discussion and inculcating right knowledge from its do's and don't s....The more closed this topic is kept more and more people sneakily get into such heinous acts without even understanding its filthy seeds being implanted at the subconscious level.... victims of such events either get into more dangerous crimes or an extremely complexed mental self which is an additional danger to the entire society. ..
A few minutes pleasure at the cost of harming someone at that deep level ...more dangerous at mental than physical is like contribution in increase in birth of criminal s in society. ...

Apologies to anyone reading this who under any influence has committed such offence.... try to reach out to those whom you have molested and beg for forgiveness as that can help them start their life without any prejudices. ..also any one vulnerable in any form ....learn to respect the human in that individual and stop yourself to take an undue advantage of the situation to fulfill all hidden lusty desires.....

Being a grown up adult is a role of responsible individual ....let our behaviour make people trust and believe that we deserve the respect of an older citizen.....

Old = BOLD ....let's unfold the truths of dating older men /women

Young girls getting attracted to older men has an old history and to name a few aspects that encourage such relationships are financial security, more matured mentally and sexually ,etc but the new tendency of men getting carried away by older women is what's worth peeping in for this day....

Like the two factors that were prominent in dating older men ...applies to older women more weight being given to the sexuality and approach they carry along.
JLo ,Demi Moore who ve had partners a way too younger to them say something bold about these women. ...their independent lifestyle and their emotional maturity plays a very vital role in attracting young men towards them. 

Men today are more liberal,open minded and less egoist which enables them to appreciate and look upon a lady achiever with respect and accept that as her ability. ..many a times the respect factor turns into emotional bondage and end up into physical encounters. ..but the hard fact is many a times it is sheer physical attractions that lead to being in relationship.

The focus here is not majorly on factors responsible for such ties but how far these relatrelationships survive ???

Statistically, all combination of relationships have their high and low numbers but such ones where too high age difference is the most disturbing truth in shattered lives.

Among all the juicy facts associated with older women. ..a bold outlook, a stable mindset ,an independent thought process and physical awareness of needs it surely sounds worth a try but but but.....life after sex..is what people never think of...

Is life after all those amazing explorations going to be worth sticking around with where goals ...life goals. ...soul goals come on surface..

Again,  talking about soulmates if one feels having found in one another (such odd combination s) is yet another topic to discuss about; but being into human form how sensible is it to get into a relationship where apart from a few enchanting factors to get you together there are hundreds more to get you apart??? Give it a thought.

The idea to elaborate and touch upon this issue was to make an effort to make people realise the grounded realities that isn't any fairy tale which can help in long lasting and happy survival of such relationships...

Thus. ...it  is very natural to get mesmerised into someone (most of the boys are in love with their pretty teachers during puberty. ...) it doesn't  mean that  it has to be carried forward to another level...it can create many disturbances to the existing life  for a zero future.....

Therefore...to all my lovely readers.....keep in mind :

Fall in love...don't get collapsed !!!!