Use FUL... not.. Use FOOL..

We are all GIVERS and  TAKERS....
Ideally a person with generous heart wouldn't  want to take as much as give but that again is pertaining to material  things... I am here to talk about only  EMOTIONAL  Gives and Takes....

I meet many people on regular basis where they complain of being into an emotionally abusive relationship and which leaves them shattered... They again  gather up, show up and are left to break down due to their emotions being  exploited.

It's  great to LOVE people.... The most pure, beautiful and amazing  feeling in this life is to be in LOVE... people when in love often take it as a venture into a world that will bring only wonders to them... Well, its not completely true... Its wonderful  feeling with an adventurous route... The adventures are felt when there is a turbulence in this  so called  EMOTIONAL LEVEL.....

Love has many dimensions and definitions, it is not only limited to two people.. It is that which generally exists between humans and living  beings...
Which factor gives rise to this love is again very  complex  as it could be anything  from hormones to habits to a cosmic pull  to loneliness etc...

I often  find either of the one in this love bond, be it parent  child, two friends, lovers, etc getting a feel of  being  victim to  the other exploiting them for their  emotions... WHY DO PEOPLE FEEL THEY HAVEN'T  GOT ENOUGH  FOR HOW MUCH THEY GAVE AWAY EMOTIONALLY??????

This is a very sensitive issue, disturbing a huge population and the feeling of being MIS USED/ABUSED  in a relationship  is often devastating.... It took me long to understand  this....

When people love someone, they are dwelling into their emotions so deeply that they actually feel that they have given  a precious part of theirs into the relationship which is TRUE,  the only problem is we are not able to LET GO of that part which is given away in love.... When I  say we couldn't  LET GO  meaning, there's a realization  that 'I have loved him/her  sooo much where I gave away my time, money, body, etc into that relationship'... This thought, if it persists then you haven't  loved to give... You have loved to  TAKE too.... And if u have kept a count  of how much you have given... You are expecting that  much in return.....

Love, being  intangible  can never be measured and this way one of the individuals in such relationships often  feel being  mis used...

A DIFFERENT  PERSPECTIVE..... If people  find you lovable and if we can help  them with whatever we are comfortable with... Say  time, money etc and if that is considered as a form  of love being showered  without the feel of being taken  undue advantage of.... This is the feeling of being of some  genuine USE..... but if  all help rendered was with a desire to get something  back worth the same value will  ONLY MAKE ONE FEEL... BEING MIS USED or ABUSED...

It is human to expect back but understanding that this very expectation into an intangible  give away is only going to distress  us...

It is therefore, a regular  practice to understand the depth of this beautiful feeling  called  love...

LOVE to feel good for giving as much as you  can as you are  doing that for you have more love in abundance to give it away....

Do not measure  love... Just love.... Forget  it once shared... Its all in here... You will  experience it in yourself....

But...

If.. Its not in our personalities to forget it once showered... Be cautious... As this  can get us to the mode of feeling  exploited and misused....

Take care

ORGANIC... are we???

The word in vogue today is ORGANIC... everything is marketed with this title  of Organic... Organic food, shampoo, soap, etc  etc..

I  was wondering while shopping at the supermarket how these products have captured the market and they could because there are consumers  for these products....

It was a great feeling to realize that many among us have woken up to the chemical  attacks our bodies have been going through  have taken it seriously to use only such products.... But.... On the other hand, I  saw all these women  has either coloured and straightened their hair, loaded  with make ups and were wearing  amazing  perfumes.... I tried giving  complete benefit of doubt to perfumes and make up they would  be very particularly  using organic  based ones but was a bit doubtful  about hair treatment products....

Men too had wonderfully Coloured  hair do s and  I must admit people carried themselves  extremely  well... Too well...

I  am no one to condemn anything, neither products nor the consumers  but I definitely  have to explain  my confusions and my thoughts that kept me busy for quite some time and  left me with  an amusing  feeling ...

In this era of heavy industrialization  and  bombardment of all sorts of fancy products which  are mainly designed  and manufactured  for  two reasons..
Comfort  and   image..... As people today  are only focused on these elements... Health is also taken as a fashion statement  where numerous  stunts happen for others  to perceive us as health freaks and not a serious consideration given to it....

With  so much of an awareness of NATURAL products.... We humans still are of herd mentality  where we only love following trends and people... Nothing is right and nothing is wrong as per my personal philosophy but what disturbs me is that with  an ABSOLUTE PICTURE PERFECT living style, societal  image  to careers .... All seem to be in an absolute  ideal way, despite which people don't  get sleep, have depression and many more  routine but chronic  issues....

Even to these  issues, we have an organic way to heal our minds and those are all sorts of Alternative  Therapies...
They are all wonderful only if the crux of the entire  deep rooted problem is understood....

We have so much soaked ourselves into the SOCIETY  and  its FAKE  PHILOSOPHY that we do not even dare to acknowledge the true, original, pure, natural  self of ours which  is MOST  ORGANIC and leaving that unattended we run for labels stating organic stuffs...

All of us are so  much used to those standards set by society that we have as humans turned most unnatural from our thoughts to behavior  and which also  includes all requirements  to make our faking jobs easier....

The  very reason that we are victims of many  ailments and tragedies at emotional level  too is the outcome of the dual life we all lead.

How many of us have taken steps towards living an ORGANIC LIFE...?????
We still can....

Tough Love....???? Is very tough to have...

Tough love....

I read this term and found  very interesting... It is nothing  but selfless love  but TOUGH is something we can perceive either ways... But tough positively always means inner strength... Tolerance and self controlled  trait..... Basically  a graceful  warrior  quality...

I might sound a bit confused here  as terminology  like tough with a soft and divine emotion called love seems a little  difficult to understand but it is extremely appropriate after learning its indepth  meaning...

Tough , generally  means the withstanding capacity, the immunity  or the inner strength to fight  something  harmful....
Love is never harmful  unless, it becomes  selfish and obsessed...

I encounter so many people who in the name of love end up having  crazy expectations from the other or so deeply  get involved into that love that it turns into an obsession.... Either of these are not healthy and in fact they are harmful to them as well as their relationships...

Whether it is one sided or mutual... Love is love... It shouldn't  lose its Purity and essence under any situation.... The very thought of loving someone for expectations of reciprocation  is that  LOVE was offered as an object to trade with... If there exist mutual  love... Its beautiful.. But even then, it can turn mesmerizing  if it is only showered upon the beloved...

Human emotions  are very fragile... They do get low with non reciprocation  and non acceptance of love, also it might sometime  be mocked, over looked at but despite all this, if there still exists such love for someone... Then that  is TOUGH LOVE.... at some  point in life... Everyone has to undergo the test of examining their  love and this outcome is very very rare... As these difficult  times are the moments where one can understand whether their love can withstand the storms of others  moods, mindset and feelings....

Love  which can maintain its authenticity after undergoing  difficult  times  indeed emerges as TOUGH LOVE... where the recipient is never harmed only LOVED..... the giver might undergo traumatic phases to get toughened  but in the end it is a realization of TRUE , SPIRITUAL LOVE...

DIVINITY is in feeling the LOVE,
By giving your true self... Keep rising Above...

CHAKRA - VYUHA..... (MAZE of LIFE)

CHAKRA - VYUHA.....

CHAKRA....  CIRCLE / CIRCULAR
VYUHA..... FORMATION

Chakravyuha was a circular  formation... A strategic  war  formation  used in epic Mahabharata  by Dhronacharya.... To trap warriors during the war....

I immediately  could think of a circular maze which is often used in theme parks across the world to confuse people with their way  out.... And

My very different perspective  could make me relate to both CHAKRAVYUHA and MAZE... To the VISCOUS  circle of  LIFE....

The faiths which believe in BIRTHS AND REBIRTHS.... can probably  relate to this theory of getting trapped into the cycle....

At times.... When we try and  figure out our certain  habits, thoughts, behavior  which are neither genetic nor environmentally  influenced  but still is a strong  trait in us which we blame it on our INNATE PERSONALITY... this innate feature we probably  have learnt or gathered while traveling  so many lives  and  thus  is reflected in us.....

Basically, we all try with our focus and passion to  release ourselves  from this maze and  some new players keep enjoying  the game and wandering  within the maze....

The lessons thus learnt in our lives are those landmarks which should help us take different  route with an attempt to seek that ultimate  freedom of our soul.... The alertness is thus required  to take life lessons as marked wrong route..... So that  we don't  get stuck there again and  again...

But.... What really  happens isn't as simple as a game of maze...we are humans who only  use our given smartness to hurt, harm and win over  people banging  into  us while traveling into the maze and we totally  forget that our prime motive is to get out of that  for liberation....

Humans, get either into tiffs or emotionally attached to the other players and are stuck there... Settled there... Rather, as an aware candidate, one needs to be on constant  move and find the way out themselves... En-route if they find another such  alert individual who has had his/her part of experience of some different  wrong routes... Thus, such  people as soul mates can join  hands to their ultimate  destination.... It is but not  mandatory to seek a mate.... If one has to they do  meet on life journey but  individual  search should  never stop...

Like... Abhimanyu.... The soul  does  know its way out of this charavyuha.... Only  thing essential is to maintain  alertness and focus on the goal.... Rest we will be guided by our souls...

Lets enjoy our life game....

Respect.... But not fear... Is LOVE

What do we understand by the term RESPECT????

It is commonly  confused with  EGO when  people talk of self respect....

Before I  start the delicate issue of self respect, which often is the core problem area with  majority of us, I ll focus on general term called Respect....

Respect as per dictionary is defined as...

"A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements."

Or

"due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others."

The first definition is usually natural to most of us and we as general  public crave for achieving that RESPECT in world... It is perfect to be respected for achieving success or showing some  great extraordinary abilities.... But I  started understanding RESPECT at my turning point in life as the second  definition...

Yes... I  too kept  feeling  devastated all my life that  I  am not respected enough as I haven't achieved much until a realization that, I  need to first  focus  on SELF.. give myself my due preference as a human being and eventually start loving myself... I  loved  myself only as much as it was needed to be felt good to survive and when my self worth did not depend on others judging  me.

My self love made me strive towards my passion, which lead me to this profession and lead me to meet  innumerable  amazing  people where each one contributed to my growth  further.....

To explain in simple terms,

ACHIEVEMENT  and  SUCCESS can give respect  only  for SELFISH REASONS.... And are more  associated with FEAR element...
Example.. A Rich person is showered with respect due to his POWER....coz if that power is used against anyone, it could have ill effects and if we think deep, today the rat race is mostly  directed towards that only... For all those who strive to make money to have a decent  living belong to normal human tendency but those who have enough already and are still going nuts over more and more are Self Feared, that apart from not having the same high standards of living, if they don't  match  up the RAT RACE, they will loose SOCIETAL RESPECT... these people are wasting their life in acquiring a complete  superficial  RESPECT from society which only pampers their EGO.

The PEACE, which we ULTIMATELY  seek is also achieved through  RESPECT  and this RESPECT  falls under second definition  mentioned above... It is

"due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others."

If... This definition is followed and implemented.. We need not run, sweat and go nuts in acquiring pseudo RESPECT from those in society who pretend to respect  but actually  fear your power, position and money....

This definitely doesn't mean people stop earning or living  well but not with a desire to DEMAND RESPECT  by showing power.... The  human quality of respecting each individual  irrespective of their background, culture, community, colour, caste  is something we need to develop  to form a basic  sense of RESPECT towards a HUMAN SOUL  and this is enough to bring about an awareness within us as to LOVE is where  RESPECT  for that individual  exists...

Love without  respect is DOMINATING, SELFISH LOVE... where one can live in bubble to feel he /she is being loved  a lot as the other fears them...

Whereas, on the other hand even one sided LOVE  can revert back with  LOVE  if there is RESPECT involved in that relationship where others  feelings and wishes are given due regards....

To, conclude with an example...

My client asks me... " Ma'am, why it hurts so much when we are in love".. I had to correct her... One sided love..
It hurts not for you  didn't  get its reciprocation but you feel your  feelings aren't respected the way u respected theirs... What is that respect  here....?
Selfishness to spend time with someone makes us feel that in xyz manner, the one we love should  spend time with us but...
A forced time spent  together isn't going to last  neither will give pleasure... Therefore,   if you love someone, let  them BE.... Let them do things that  make them happy... (sometimes  that could be also to let them  love someone else)... Its hard, but to respect that  loved ones wishes... Is the toughest and hardest step towards  showing that RESPECT for YOU LOVE THEM... and Not FEAR them... Fear is the insecurity which can only hold on to superficial  relationships... True ONES  need  not FEAR as some day this  RESPECT  will bring back GENUINE  LOVE which is ever lasting....

This needs mental strength and will help in transformation of an individual into a more balanced  individual... Its worth  giving it a try....

It feels  great to see the one you love GENUINELY  HAPPY... and by setting them free, you have contributed  the MOST, so that self worth of giving your best to your loved one is felt too...

Love  but RESPECT that love....