Blue Rose LOVER!!!!

People in love usually exchange rose at least once in their life... Especially RED ROSE which symbolizes LOVE is most enchanting to love birds and they go ga ga over it... As teenagers , that is the love most of us experience and admire but there are flavors and colors of love at every stage and age....

Rose days are being celebrated in every corner of the world where people can express their feelings in different ways.. Like red denotes love, white symbolizes peace, yellow indicates friendship, pink for like, etc... Apart from these not many colors in roses are common especially in Place that I reside, so wouldn't be much aware of its color and significance....

Its an objectified way to express emotions at the end of the day but in real life there are people in each category that exist.... There would be people we only like or admire, some we really love and want us to love back, some we are plain acquaintances with, some we despise, but my favorite category is the one which is not known to anyone but self...

So many people I know have that secret love within which lives in them and often never dies.... That's not always because it was difficult to manifest that love but because it was selfless in nature....

Blue is the colour that's cold, gloomy, and desire less.... But its a color that seems peaceful too... Any shade of blue, the most vibrant one too cannot create anxiety within... Such is the place we have for someone in our lives and that's our SELFLESS LOVE...

This relationship might be impossible to surface on the societal fronts but this is the one that's deeper than anything else... I can almost relate to the spiritual element with such relationship where the blue rose lover is unaware of your deep love, zero expectations and yet inseparable part.... The most amazing part here is both these people are inseparable for each other but least dependent on each other as well....

We all might have carried on such relationships for ages and yet not known the power and pleasure to be into this as the strong selfish qualities in us only attract us towards those where we get something in return...
This is a human tendency but ultimately the spiritual self wins over.. If not now towards the fag end....

BLUE ROSE LOVER, is that spiritual love which never lets go off you, gives pain only to get a deeper understanding of self and has incredible intensity.... Have you figured out your blue rose lover?????

Be.. Beyond BED(SEX)

Being Beautiful.... is an asset, a god gifted quality  and being attractive  also is a physical trait worth flaunting but.....  Is that all????

Beauty, good looks, etc have always defined an individuals acceptance levels in society  but this is a first step to discover illusion ;as brainless beauty, inhumane beauty is WORTHLESS...

Many philosophies have discussed that beauty isn't a trait worth feeling arrogant about but the fact still remains that lay men and common men are hooked on to those physical appearances and are slaves to these  most foolish  quality people have naturally inherited....

The way beauty products, garment industry and artificial  beauty enhancers have captured people's minds, it leaves me with a bottom level question.... Is beauty  more  important than brains, humanity, generosity, etc....????

I encounter  few old acquaintances who start up with applauds over looks and seem concentrated over there and that gives me a thought as to whether these people can ever go beyond beauty and bed....

Beauty is mesmerizing.... I cannot deny but the real person beyond those looks is more important to be explored... Its no wonder that people who have hooked themselves around looks will never have a satisfied relationship  with anyone as what they run behind itself is such a temporary  element....

Its sad that those who are gifted with intelligence too have a deep craving for sexual encounters with a hot body and sensual beauty but this warmth of sexual pleasure is so temporary if that individual has no humane qualities to enhance their inner person.... Having such encounters only reflects that shallow intellect one possessed only to enjoy worldly pleasure... Its not wrong but having  centered around these is definitely indulging into stagnancy and fruitless life in the longer run....

For some people, their destination is bed... They enter into relationship with opposite sex to end up having sex.... This attitude is an object  oriented personality which has no or very little  room for emotions... Emotions, which can bind people for ages with or without physical touch.... I often feel sorry to have considered these kinds as intellectual folks again looking at their academic records but its the outlook that reflects their actual intelligence and inbuilt aura of connectedness....

Its hilarious to see how people question any acquaintance keeping their outer or inner qualities in mind and this necessarily becomes a deciding  area to whether we choose to stagnant our growth  with such people or move on and work towards self growth.....

Be a beautiful Person with beautiful heart....

Respect.... But not fear... Is LOVE

What do we understand by the term RESPECT????

It is commonly  confused with  EGO when  people talk of self respect....

Before I  start the delicate issue of self respect, which often is the core problem area with  majority of us, I ll focus on general term called Respect....

Respect as per dictionary is defined as...

"A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements."

Or

"due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others."

The first definition is usually natural to most of us and we as general  public crave for achieving that RESPECT in world... It is perfect to be respected for achieving success or showing some  great extraordinary abilities.... But I  started understanding RESPECT at my turning point in life as the second  definition...

Yes... I  too kept  feeling  devastated all my life that  I  am not respected enough as I haven't achieved much until a realization that, I  need to first  focus  on SELF.. give myself my due preference as a human being and eventually start loving myself... I  loved  myself only as much as it was needed to be felt good to survive and when my self worth did not depend on others judging  me.

My self love made me strive towards my passion, which lead me to this profession and lead me to meet  innumerable  amazing  people where each one contributed to my growth  further.....

To explain in simple terms,

ACHIEVEMENT  and  SUCCESS can give respect  only  for SELFISH REASONS.... And are more  associated with FEAR element...
Example.. A Rich person is showered with respect due to his POWER....coz if that power is used against anyone, it could have ill effects and if we think deep, today the rat race is mostly  directed towards that only... For all those who strive to make money to have a decent  living belong to normal human tendency but those who have enough already and are still going nuts over more and more are Self Feared, that apart from not having the same high standards of living, if they don't  match  up the RAT RACE, they will loose SOCIETAL RESPECT... these people are wasting their life in acquiring a complete  superficial  RESPECT from society which only pampers their EGO.

The PEACE, which we ULTIMATELY  seek is also achieved through  RESPECT  and this RESPECT  falls under second definition  mentioned above... It is

"due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others."

If... This definition is followed and implemented.. We need not run, sweat and go nuts in acquiring pseudo RESPECT from those in society who pretend to respect  but actually  fear your power, position and money....

This definitely doesn't mean people stop earning or living  well but not with a desire to DEMAND RESPECT  by showing power.... The  human quality of respecting each individual  irrespective of their background, culture, community, colour, caste  is something we need to develop  to form a basic  sense of RESPECT towards a HUMAN SOUL  and this is enough to bring about an awareness within us as to LOVE is where  RESPECT  for that individual  exists...

Love without  respect is DOMINATING, SELFISH LOVE... where one can live in bubble to feel he /she is being loved  a lot as the other fears them...

Whereas, on the other hand even one sided LOVE  can revert back with  LOVE  if there is RESPECT involved in that relationship where others  feelings and wishes are given due regards....

To, conclude with an example...

My client asks me... " Ma'am, why it hurts so much when we are in love".. I had to correct her... One sided love..
It hurts not for you  didn't  get its reciprocation but you feel your  feelings aren't respected the way u respected theirs... What is that respect  here....?
Selfishness to spend time with someone makes us feel that in xyz manner, the one we love should  spend time with us but...
A forced time spent  together isn't going to last  neither will give pleasure... Therefore,   if you love someone, let  them BE.... Let them do things that  make them happy... (sometimes  that could be also to let them  love someone else)... Its hard, but to respect that  loved ones wishes... Is the toughest and hardest step towards  showing that RESPECT for YOU LOVE THEM... and Not FEAR them... Fear is the insecurity which can only hold on to superficial  relationships... True ONES  need  not FEAR as some day this  RESPECT  will bring back GENUINE  LOVE which is ever lasting....

This needs mental strength and will help in transformation of an individual into a more balanced  individual... Its worth  giving it a try....

It feels  great to see the one you love GENUINELY  HAPPY... and by setting them free, you have contributed  the MOST, so that self worth of giving your best to your loved one is felt too...

Love  but RESPECT that love....

Spiritual Love...

Spirit... The very reason , I  am able to write this blog, the very reason  you can read this article and for all the  reasons to reason out...

I was  wondering if all of us can feel things to the core and if we do know what can those feelings do???? Spirit which is the root to our existence  is governed by the experiences it goes through and is constantly  striving  to make we humans acquire  that ultimate  truth that we are indeed SPIRITUAL  BEINGS WHO ARE HERE TO HAVE HUMAN EXPERIENCE...

While  experiencing  human birth, we experience love as a prime ingredient to take us to  that understanding where no one is different  from  other.. We are all connected to each other via an invisible  thread to which we have our own formed similarities and attachments... Some in particular  gets  attached  to  help us in bringing  about a deeper spiritual awareness  and that person , that  individual  becomes the spiritual love of ones life...

Its easy to give names to relationships people form, its a binding to follow  rules and  regulations to those societal  relationships  but those nameless  ties people get involved  in are  those which occur to humans in an unexpected  way, with unexpected people and its weird in every way  but seems most deep... It is these connections which can leave a deep impact on ones life and help in understanding the universal love which is  the core truth.

In my professional  practice, I  get many couples who are quite  possessive  about each other, people try  being who they are not , not to bring about a change which they want but for proving their worthiness to their partners.... Change is life.. If change is natural, its spiritual  but if its imposed and feared, its a caged love, its a caged relationship....  We are here into close knit relationships  to help each other lift up spiritually  but dominance  in any relationship  will only cause chaos which will give birth to rebellious  souls at a later stage...

We, as humans  are strict followers of scriptures and religious beliefs  but we do not realize the underlying  intentions  of all these... None of it teaches to hold people into handcuffs and slave them  as per rules and regulations  and norms... In Fact, these were formed for a systematic  way of  living  under ready acceptance  of people around thus, the ACCEPTANCE  as a fact is killed somewhere and every act humans do is services  towards ego satisfaction in society .... Where is the self acceptance  and pleasure  at a core level vanished?????

Love, is the prime ingredient of any relationship and love by itself is a free spirit... It cannot be caged, imposed or destroyed... It is eternal  in its way, it cannot have a method , it is free willed... But we seldom have faith in that... Because we lack faith in ourselves... If its love, it has to there, forms might change, feel cannot.

I, try  telling  people, if you love  someone  so  deeply, so intensely, don't  hold them into your clutches... They would  feel suffocated... Rather, love them  let them love you the way you are  and if you have experienced  spirituality  with this love, it is immaterial  whether they fall in love with someone  else as, they WILL WITNESS YOUR PRESENCE even if they  are with other  people.... This is the purity, strength and magic of spiritual  love....

Its difficult  to love someone in a  manner, to let them go somewhere else, but its a beautiful  feeling  to let your love find love and finally feel YOU wherever they go... That's  Love....

It requires  a deep connect with self and an extreme  level of spiritual quotient  to fall in love like that....

Love yourself to love all....

Friends with Benefits.... (relationship)

Starts with being an acquaintance, to  a friend  and can  easily  lead  to being  FRIENDS  WITH  BENEFITS...

For  those  of you who are unaware  of this  term called  FRIENDS WITH  BENEFITS (FWB), It is a friendship  where  you also have courtship  without  commitment....

In many societies, this term can come as a shocker  where  as some societies  have accepted  this openly..... I  am  not  here to discuss  what  FWB is all about but its psychological  implications  in nutshell....

The important  thing  to  remember  here is an individual  perception of sex, love and friendship.... Each of these  terms  have  a dictionary  meaning  but do all  of us essentially  take it that  way? For  example, a couple  in love can  have  sex  to make love, to  express love..... A person  with an acute  physical  urge will  indulge  into sex as a mere biological  need, an Indian  married  couple takes it as a duty, etc.... As per Osho, sex  is that internal realization  or feel which a person  can  possibly  experience  and feel at the blissful  peak and thus is that  feel compared to the one which people get during  the oneness experienced  during meditation  and  this is  essentially  a soulful experience.....

If that holds true for many people, is feeling  of oneness possible for  these people while  they have physical  intimacy  with many  around.. ..... I  doubt...

One fact that  I  understand  is that  sexual  need  is both physical  and emotional  but which  one is more prominent  at  a time is the question  which is an answer too...

A marriage  thus should be more an open friendly  relationship  with each other which can serve the purpose  well but  the catch  in every  so called relationship  is the POSSESSIVENESS  and EMOTIONAL  INSECURITIES.... and marriage  might have maximum  as its a societal  bond which is more of  a social  status.....
Given such  limitations, more and  more  people  are trying  to fulfill  their  sexual  needs without  any commitments..... But as I  quoted  earlier  sexual  need can be both purely  physical  or emotional  or both and if its a professional  sex worker  there are no emotions  involved  what so ever and if its a lover  there are many unreasonable  emotions  involved  too..... And there the concept  of FWB served the purpose for many who find a marginal mixture  of both  the ingredients  in helping  people  get intimate  without  any  strings attached.....

Well, this seemed like  such an ideal way to operate  that people following  this fail to notice  some  important  things surrounding  such  arrangements.... Like:

One such relationship can make  an overall  perception  of all friends  who could be included in such arrangements.... Which  is not a healthy  sign

Other effects  being, there are  great  chances that  later either one can get emotionally  insecured for the  other...

If both have an excellent  physical  compatibility, and  they  decide to  tie knots  on  that  basis  alone.... Other aspects  may  cause  trouble  in future...

And a slightly  different  but according  to me the most difficult  kind of situation  will be where A HEALTHY, HEARTY, OPEN, EXCELLENT FRIENDSHIP  which was not  endangered  with any issues  can go UGLY by SEXUAL  interference  therein.... So, a greed  to  get physical  pleasure  from  friends  can destroy  a heartiest  friendship  and that is more disastrous.... As friends  are defined  as those  who  are not judgemental  about you  and this aspect (of being  non judgemental)   is difficult  to achieve  in any relationship  even  in FWB.....

So  folks, Think before  you  can walk that extra mile to derive an additional  pleasure  out of an amazing  friendship ...

Relationship Requisites...Really????

Relationship ;we all are born with.....
If no one then at least parents and this universe. Have we realised that moment an individual is born there are set rules attached to that soul for existence and all those born who cannot abide by them are discarded.
Underdeveloped or completely dependant state which some souls are are unfortunately not welcomed well and segregated in society as the rules aren't applicable to those.
Even among normal people all those who do not abide by the rules set to be in that xyz relationship are secluded.

In a way all the souls are connected to one another by a chord but on a human level only USEFULNESS IS ACCEPTABLE . That fact is clearly noticed when couples decide to have kids and the moment child is born is attached list of do's and don't s to be able to be liked and accepted by all.

In spite of all levied rules and regulations why are natural relationship s too not sustained at times when children dont care for old parents or even if they do there is grumble within.

The fact remains that forcibly trying to create love, responsibility using rules of relationship can never ever show the desired outcome but rather letting the individual be and let people CARE OUT OF SENSITIVITY Not RESPONSIBILITY.

CAN WE ALL START BY TEACHING KIDS SENSITIVITY which can even create a more voluntarily accepted responsibility ..

Want to be loved?learn to love the unwanted ....

As valentines day nears more couples emerge as all those who aspired to be with someone wouldn't want to go alone especially on valentines.
The thought that occurs to me is as the world celebrates the cupids day why is it so pressurising to individuals to be at a compulsion to get hooked on even if it is temporary. The superficial joy of being among the crowd that very celebration can leave you into a sad state later.
This is for all those singles who have an urge to be proposed by someone to be in relationship but are eventually not getting into one:
If you truly love yourself its seldom a compulsion to be loved by others.
And loving self can make others fall in love with you. ..
Most important -
Try spending the day and the money reserved for valentines with the underprivileged (who really seek love and compassion) and experience the joy to love ....the satisfied smiles given by you can be a more fruitful and divine experience to cherish ......
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!