What do we understand by the term RESPECT????
It is commonly confused with EGO when people talk of self respect....
Before I start the delicate issue of self respect, which often is the core problem area with majority of us, I ll focus on general term called Respect....
Respect as per dictionary is defined as...
"A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements."
Or
"due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others."
The first definition is usually natural to most of us and we as general public crave for achieving that RESPECT in world... It is perfect to be respected for achieving success or showing some great extraordinary abilities.... But I started understanding RESPECT at my turning point in life as the second definition...
Yes... I too kept feeling devastated all my life that I am not respected enough as I haven't achieved much until a realization that, I need to first focus on SELF.. give myself my due preference as a human being and eventually start loving myself... I loved myself only as much as it was needed to be felt good to survive and when my self worth did not depend on others judging me.
My self love made me strive towards my passion, which lead me to this profession and lead me to meet innumerable amazing people where each one contributed to my growth further.....
To explain in simple terms,
ACHIEVEMENT and SUCCESS can give respect only for SELFISH REASONS.... And are more associated with FEAR element...
Example.. A Rich person is showered with respect due to his POWER....coz if that power is used against anyone, it could have ill effects and if we think deep, today the rat race is mostly directed towards that only... For all those who strive to make money to have a decent living belong to normal human tendency but those who have enough already and are still going nuts over more and more are Self Feared, that apart from not having the same high standards of living, if they don't match up the RAT RACE, they will loose SOCIETAL RESPECT... these people are wasting their life in acquiring a complete superficial RESPECT from society which only pampers their EGO.
Example.. A Rich person is showered with respect due to his POWER....coz if that power is used against anyone, it could have ill effects and if we think deep, today the rat race is mostly directed towards that only... For all those who strive to make money to have a decent living belong to normal human tendency but those who have enough already and are still going nuts over more and more are Self Feared, that apart from not having the same high standards of living, if they don't match up the RAT RACE, they will loose SOCIETAL RESPECT... these people are wasting their life in acquiring a complete superficial RESPECT from society which only pampers their EGO.
The PEACE, which we ULTIMATELY seek is also achieved through RESPECT and this RESPECT falls under second definition mentioned above... It is
"due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others."
If... This definition is followed and implemented.. We need not run, sweat and go nuts in acquiring pseudo RESPECT from those in society who pretend to respect but actually fear your power, position and money....
This definitely doesn't mean people stop earning or living well but not with a desire to DEMAND RESPECT by showing power.... The human quality of respecting each individual irrespective of their background, culture, community, colour, caste is something we need to develop to form a basic sense of RESPECT towards a HUMAN SOUL and this is enough to bring about an awareness within us as to LOVE is where RESPECT for that individual exists...
Love without respect is DOMINATING, SELFISH LOVE... where one can live in bubble to feel he /she is being loved a lot as the other fears them...
Whereas, on the other hand even one sided LOVE can revert back with LOVE if there is RESPECT involved in that relationship where others feelings and wishes are given due regards....
To, conclude with an example...
My client asks me... " Ma'am, why it hurts so much when we are in love".. I had to correct her... One sided love..
It hurts not for you didn't get its reciprocation but you feel your feelings aren't respected the way u respected theirs... What is that respect here....?
Selfishness to spend time with someone makes us feel that in xyz manner, the one we love should spend time with us but...
A forced time spent together isn't going to last neither will give pleasure... Therefore, if you love someone, let them BE.... Let them do things that make them happy... (sometimes that could be also to let them love someone else)... Its hard, but to respect that loved ones wishes... Is the toughest and hardest step towards showing that RESPECT for YOU LOVE THEM... and Not FEAR them... Fear is the insecurity which can only hold on to superficial relationships... True ONES need not FEAR as some day this RESPECT will bring back GENUINE LOVE which is ever lasting....
It hurts not for you didn't get its reciprocation but you feel your feelings aren't respected the way u respected theirs... What is that respect here....?
Selfishness to spend time with someone makes us feel that in xyz manner, the one we love should spend time with us but...
A forced time spent together isn't going to last neither will give pleasure... Therefore, if you love someone, let them BE.... Let them do things that make them happy... (sometimes that could be also to let them love someone else)... Its hard, but to respect that loved ones wishes... Is the toughest and hardest step towards showing that RESPECT for YOU LOVE THEM... and Not FEAR them... Fear is the insecurity which can only hold on to superficial relationships... True ONES need not FEAR as some day this RESPECT will bring back GENUINE LOVE which is ever lasting....
This needs mental strength and will help in transformation of an individual into a more balanced individual... Its worth giving it a try....
It feels great to see the one you love GENUINELY HAPPY... and by setting them free, you have contributed the MOST, so that self worth of giving your best to your loved one is felt too...
Love but RESPECT that love....
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