Solitude

Solitude
Seek within....

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Respect.... But not fear... Is LOVE

What do we understand by the term RESPECT????
It is commonly  confused with  EGO when  people talk of self respect....
Before I  start the delicate issue of self respect, which often is the core problem area with  majority of us, I ll focus on general term called Respect....
Respect as per dictionary is defined as...
"A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements."
Or
"due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others."
The first definition is usually natural to most of us and we as general  public crave for achieving that RESPECT in world... It is perfect to be respected for achieving success or showing some  great extraordinary abilities.... But I  started understanding RESPECT at my turning point in life as the second  definition...
Yes... I  too kept  feeling  devastated all my life that  I  am not respected enough as I haven't achieved much until a realization that, I  need to first  focus  on SELF.. give myself my due preference as a human being and eventually start loving myself... I  loved  myself only as much as it was needed to be felt good to survive and when my self worth did not depend on others judging  me.
My self love made me strive towards my passion, which lead me to this profession and lead me to meet  innumerable  amazing  people where each one contributed to my growth  further.....
To explain in simple terms,
ACHIEVEMENT  and  SUCCESS can give respect  only  for SELFISH REASONS.... And are more  associated with FEAR element...
Example.. A Rich person is showered with respect due to his POWER....coz if that power is used against anyone, it could have ill effects and if we think deep, today the rat race is mostly  directed towards that only... For all those who strive to make money to have a decent  living belong to normal human tendency but those who have enough already and are still going nuts over more and more are Self Feared, that apart from not having the same high standards of living, if they don't  match  up the RAT RACE, they will loose SOCIETAL RESPECT... these people are wasting their life in acquiring a complete  superficial  RESPECT from society which only pampers their EGO.
The PEACE, which we ULTIMATELY  seek is also achieved through  RESPECT  and this RESPECT  falls under second definition  mentioned above... It is
"due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others."
If... This definition is followed and implemented.. We need not run, sweat and go nuts in acquiring pseudo RESPECT from those in society who pretend to respect  but actually  fear your power, position and money....
This definitely doesn't mean people stop earning or living  well but not with a desire to DEMAND RESPECT  by showing power.... The  human quality of respecting each individual  irrespective of their background, culture, community, colour, caste  is something we need to develop  to form a basic  sense of RESPECT towards a HUMAN SOUL  and this is enough to bring about an awareness within us as to LOVE is where  RESPECT  for that individual  exists...
Love without  respect is DOMINATING, SELFISH LOVE... where one can live in bubble to feel he /she is being loved  a lot as the other fears them...
Whereas, on the other hand even one sided LOVE  can revert back with  LOVE  if there is RESPECT involved in that relationship where others  feelings and wishes are given due regards....
To, conclude with an example...
My client asks me... " Ma'am, why it hurts so much when we are in love".. I had to correct her... One sided love..
It hurts not for you  didn't  get its reciprocation but you feel your  feelings aren't respected the way u respected theirs... What is that respect  here....?
Selfishness to spend time with someone makes us feel that in xyz manner, the one we love should  spend time with us but...
A forced time spent  together isn't going to last  neither will give pleasure... Therefore,   if you love someone, let  them BE.... Let them do things that  make them happy... (sometimes  that could be also to let them  love someone else)... Its hard, but to respect that  loved ones wishes... Is the toughest and hardest step towards  showing that RESPECT for YOU LOVE THEM... and Not FEAR them... Fear is the insecurity which can only hold on to superficial  relationships... True ONES  need  not FEAR as some day this  RESPECT  will bring back GENUINE  LOVE which is ever lasting....
This needs mental strength and will help in transformation of an individual into a more balanced  individual... Its worth  giving it a try....
It feels  great to see the one you love GENUINELY  HAPPY... and by setting them free, you have contributed  the MOST, so that self worth of giving your best to your loved one is felt too...
Love  but RESPECT that love....