Why did I meet YOU?????

WHY DID WE MEET?????

I don't  know how many of you have ever wondered as to WHY we particularly  come across only some selected  people where as this world is overly populated  and we are social  beings......

I  get to hear this question  from one person  from a couple who is emotionally  devastated  on breaking  up of  that  relationship..... I  personally  had my answers to those questions  but was a very difficult  task to explain  it to them.....

I  realised  that with each individual  in our life... Whatever  role they play... These people have met us for a reason.... The reasons  are given emotional  names  called LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, HATE, ACQUAINTANCES, etc but each has something  to contribute  in our  lives....

Sometimes, we meet someone  with a specific  reason.... It can be purely professional  and can turn out to  be a close  emotional  bond.... Some can be mere co workers, university fellow  student  or  a teacher.... But apart  from these statuses  some can  have a lifelong compassionate  relationship..... While some met with a reason  to work with, spend  life  with, etc could emerge as someone  who would  carry bitterness  all life..

Among all these  varieties  what  amazes me is that whether we like it or  not these different  categories  have ended up banging into us for a REASON.....

The REASON  isn't  too complicated  its something  we all ideally have to do as humans but as we do not simply because  of our never ending list  of  fulfilling  desires of material  things.... That  thing is... SELF SEARCH.... INTROSPECTION...
Ideally, if that  is done  we are well aware of the balancing  act of self  irrespective  of who ever we meet but IF someone  is having  some  different  effect on us  be it Good or  Bad.... It is a signal to learn something  enchanting  about our inner self.....

How do we do that??

1. Think of any xyz individual  in your life
2. Recollect  your initial  feeling  after meeting  that  person  for first time.... If a family  member  think of their  first  time heart touching  episode with them (good or bad)
3. Think of yourself as a person  in every  way... Good  and worse  NOW
4. Again  go back  to analyse  how were  you different  then....
5. Now try to figure out how  this individual  has affected you to what  extent  and  which  area of  your personality  is changed due to presence  of that  person....
6. Lastly, if the change is positive (which in most  cases would be), it will be more  enhanced then you were  probably  in that experience  to gain this  quality.. And if the change was  deteriorating  then it is time for you to distance  yourself and proceed towards  more positive  people......

This is not a very satisfying  way that  I  could have explained  but it was  a small  effort made  to probably  help some of you to perceive  your issues  from  a different  angle......

Think about it..... If any queries... Feel free to write to me at...
 
kmp6501@gmail.com

Take care....

FALLING IN LOVE or an ACHIEVEMENT??

Falling for  someone at a go can be due to many factors...
Either  it was the physical  charm
Or
Sense of showing  empathy  and understanding
Or
Intelligence
Or
Success Story
Or
Style of talking, smile, etc

It could be either  of above, all or a combination  of said traits  which  can contribute  towards an initial  attraction towards  any individual.... That is a very normal phenomenon , the  challenge  is the next stage...
Whether you  Desperately   want that person  to be in your  life as you think  you deserve  her/him...
Or
You just need to make an impression  so that that individual  falls for  you
Or
You  are a sadist and you  want her/him to  be emotionally  dependent  on  you
Or
YOU TEST YOUR INBUILT ABILITIES THAT WHOEVER YOU THOUGHT OF; YOU CAN GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP  EASILY AS YOU HAVE THAT CHARM.....

More  or  less majority  of people fall in either  of the  categories  when they say they fell in love... The category  that  took my attention  today was the  last one...

These individuals  are those who take  it up as a defeat and a challenge  to seduce the  tough  one who caught  their  eye.... Apart from those n number  of  others who were in so called love  with such people, their focus remains  on the one who seems not impressed  enough or  carried  away enough by their self believed charm.....

Its surely a human psychology  to get more attracted to something  we are denied .... But leaving it at the point  where its made clear  that opposite  person  isn't  really interested  is what  is ideal...  But NO, many of us want to prove it to ourselves  that its a wrong  decision  to reject you and thus all crazy attempts  at playing various  mind games to attract that someone....

Is this not wasting  time?????
If thought of it practically, it is satisfaction  of  our Ego that  will make us lure and seek  someone  who cares a damn..

People need to develop  an understanding, a maturity  that someone  who truly will appreciate  you as a person  will not need you playing  out these  tricks... It will be so very natural..

The problem  here is, the insecured self that  we carry, we become impulsive  and anxious  for that individual  and start making them as a life goal.....

I  can give a benefit  of doubt  to  young teens doing such things  but  what takes me by surprise  is that all age group  especially  educated, classy  type are more into this business...

Well, all I  can end with is, if this mental  and physical  effort  be done for higher spiritual goals, it will bring about a true sense of SELF ACHIEVEMENT...

TAKE CARE

Transparent SELF results in peaceful SOUL ....

Transparency  is a term which only  is used to explain  kids  as opposed to  opaque.... It should be rather explained  as Absence  of  Clarity.

I get pained  to write  about  Transparency  when I  realise  that No one including  myself  is  able to adopt  that totally  in life... Once as a child and a teenager  when being transparent  often put me in dilemmas  and the shrewd  environment  would  whisper  that  this  transparency  is not  beneficial.... Probably , materially  it is the  call for the  day but is it really helping  us at depth????

It is annoying  to me when I  am asked to reflect  half truth or  when its expected  of me to do so and this feeling  makes me  more miserable  when I  put myself in the shoes of an audience  who witness half reality  and is suppose to act likewise....

I have always  vouched for complete  clarity but society  acts as an obstacle  in revelation  of an honest say.... Its not  essential  that  honesty  will always be appreciated  but selfishly  too that  is THE ingredient  to PEACE WITHIN....

Commonly people  start to give excuses and  say half truth in most cases with an inbuilt  fear that either  that Fact would be misused or will be misinterpreted  which might  dent the well made societal  image.... Thus,  lying has become a Cosmetic  to  hide the shady areas of self but it is to  be given a positive  perspective  to  encourage  truth.... If people don't judge  one another  and don't  have relationships  pre conditioned,  it can help people in start attempting  to adopt honesty....

I decided  to follow  this after facing a turbulence  within  and this path might  not  have given me great material  success but I  have built a very honest relationship  with my fellow people  a major  part which now  includes  my clients... When they approach  me with a said  issue, I  admit to them  if I  was too victimized  with such problems  at a given point  and  it has only  helped both  me and them in acceptance  and treatment  of the  problem... Its  therefore  not  wrong  to project  ourselves  as an ordinary  human with  all routine  issues.... Its a myth that  people have  carried  within  that helping professional  can never undergo  a difficult  time.... Its more of a lie, a deception  and that might add to glory but not a long lasting  impact.....

With my experience  at personal  and  professional  front, I  genuinely  insist  that  although  a tough  path to  follow , if transparent  thought  processes  are adopted it  can save people  from many future manipulations and can help in getting  trained to having  a more open  and non  judgemental personality  to  enhance relationships...

Stay peaceful, stay happy......

Soul- mate( mating of souls)

Souls ????  
Like I always say is thought of only when an individual  dies.....  The very thing that makes us what  we are is talked of when we aren't.... Isn't  it ironical?

I always  wondered  at the term  called soul mates  and it somewhere only  pointed  out towards  the life partner... As a fact life partner  is seldom  a soul  choice, its a practical  choice  and a societal need..... This does not  mean that all couples are into a compromised  relationships  but there  are very rare cases which are soul connected....

I was more and more  curious  to understand  that  if life partner  is a soul mate then why multiple  relationships  to find that  missing part within..

There are people  with excellent  sex life with their spouses also, keen enough on their hunt for other partners.... What  is that  missing  area within which pulls one towards others whilst in a permanent  relationship?????

Every individual  here born with a soul  and body... The bodily  needs are so much focused  upon all their  lives  that  the vaccum at  soul level is still not filled... Its basically  this body that should using  its feeling  capacity that  needs to find soul satisfying  mate and enhance the inner self...

In this population  of millions  and  trillions  how will anyone  ever find that.????

I am dealing with multiple cases where there are weird  ways in which people  have banged into one another and are pulled into each other.... Not only  that.. These people have contributed  excellently in uplifting  each others lives and have made them understand  the real facts of life.

People  who are attracted  to each other feel they have met their soul mates but its often a superficial  belief  that  captures minds.. It takes  a while  to understand  if that  individual  is a soul mate????

Typically  not  easily  there is a possibility  for these  two  to get together...
There are n number  of hurdles  and  facts that  will cause hindrance  in their meeting.
The typical  thing here is  there is a selfless attraction towards that person and it's  not  logical  by  any means..
Also , these two once having met  will look out for  reasons to keep in touch... Will not leave their side.. (could be in fighting  mode too)

Last but not the least  after encountering each other.... All other relationships and partners (if any)  cannot create that impact.... There is an unsaid realisation  of the final search being accomplished....

This might sound  absurd to many  readers and I  respect  each ones views but at least a point to ponder here will be why after a completely  settled life  too there is an unknown  restlessness  within most of the  people?????
Take care.....

Telepathic communication .... Worth trying!

Ever wondered  how people sometimes  say that it was a telepathy when two  people  end up saying  the same thing  at same  time or  when  we think of  someone  intensely  and  that person  calls or  messages????  It  is even more  satisfying  than a planned meet with that  individual .

I  wouldn't  have understood  this term as well until I  experienced  few astonishing  such events  when I  could  convincingly say  that indeed telepathic  communication  is the strongest  and most intimate  type of  communication.

Like  two  parties  that are essentially  involved  in communication, even this communication  requires  two people  atleast but in my experience  even if that  individual  isn't  thinking  of you at that  moment  there  is a message  that is stored for  him/her and you will be surprised  to find an answer  from  those  people  in due  course.

I  would  at a given time keep calling  people  numerous  times  to know  their  well being or just stay connected  as I feared that  I  would  loose out on that  special  person  if I  do not  keep  in touch. It so  turned out  that  I  started to push those  special  ones away  by clinging  on to them... We are so much anxiety prone  due to various electronic  communication  means that  we want a response  to our conversation  immediately  and that creates  a big mental conflict with self and those  loved ones...

It was only  in  the due course  that  I  started to work at the deeper level and involved  those infinite  elements  present  in our universe  which are so very common  to all.....

It was my random auto rickshaw  ride that stilled my mind to someone  I was thinking  of... I  realized  dropping  a few tears while in that thought and there  I started to send those  deeply felt  messages  via breeze, via the sun rays and I  was so very sure  that  I  am able  to send across those inner feelings which even otherwise  I  would  have not  said  in person .

And to my surprise  in few days I get  a message from an acquaintance  that  confirmed  my message  being reached that person  and thus the communication  started  off with a bang...

I  know for  many of you it must  be like  a imagined or hallucinating  trait to do something  like this but its called connection  between  two  minds at that  subconscious  level which enables  this beautiful  way of  being  in touch.....

To conclude, all that is essential  in telepathic  communication  is  a still mind, intense connect  and a strong belief  in self.... Its worth trying.....

Take  care

Parents ' hidden emotions and see that in your child's personality

Usually, there are parents who wish to give away everything  for their  children  and while they are  growing  up they  also  teach them the way to manage themselves  in society ..... But this is what  any parent  in general  feel....

But...
Are we all just general  parents.... Well! NO
We all feel we are among those special  bunch of parents  who will raise kids with perfection  irrespective  of whether  how normal  or perfect  we are!!!!
Its a nice thought but often  with acute alertness also there are these hidden emotions  within us that might not be spoken  but are reflected  in one way or the other..... That  has an immense  effect  on children.

A huge responsibility  of parenting  according  to parents  is to safeguard  their image or uplift their image  in society.
Using  children  as a medium to  either  gain that status or suppression  of their individuality  to maintain  that  status  which  parents have is  something  kids give back when they grow. An ideal example  being raising  a child with expectations  that our old age will be taken care of is something  that a child will also do but with an inner feeling that "I  have no option and have to bear with this"... Thus in both  the situations  it is  verbally  not  expressed but there's  a compulsion  reflected in both actions that  I  raise  you well today and you take care of  my  old age.....

I  couldn't  stop myself from  a keen observation  as to the very emotion parents  carry while conception  which also plays  a vital role in developing  those  hidden  feelings.... If a child is desperately  needed to either for  societal  sake as a married  couple  one  should  have, or that  now we need a fulfilling  time with  someone  we can nurture  or now I  can bring up another  life who needs care(adopted kids), etc these  thoughts  are never discussed  or even we aren't  aware of but if its more selfless the more humane values the child has... Very few people  adopt children  for giving  someone  else a life most adopt to have the pleasure  of  parenting  but nevertheless  it is more selfless than a conceived  child as one needs a very generous  heart to become  non biological  parents  and that's  the beautiful thought but if all the while parents  carry that  feeling  of giving  away  their  life  to a strange kid who will be a support  later will definitely  not turn out to  be as you  have expected....

I  kept thinking  about all different  parents and different  kids they have and made me wonder  about how such selfish  parents  have such humane kids and vice versa  but nevertheless  all mentioned  here isn't  a researched fact but a general  psychological  observation  which can  surely be challenged  and can have many many factors  involved  but it was a thought we can surely ponder upon...

Me, media and Mind.....

Media or  medium  of expressing thoughts, facts, etc have always played a vital role  in capturing  people's  mind in different  ways.... Now I  can probably  better  understand  or can explain  why certain  religious  groups  condemn the usage  of  media  giving  religious  prohibition..

I , as a kid would never enjoy movies  with even slightest  of violence  and hadn't completely seen any  movie  until I  was 10 years  and could  finally  see an entire  movie ;  once from  where my immense love for movies began.....

As per age,   movies were perceived and  rated , but heading from a family  which didn't  encourage  regular  movie viewing , I  would sneak  out and  even silently  watched documentaries  which were played  then  on  Doordarshan  on Saturday  night.  I  didn't  realize  then that why would even a slow moving  art movie also could capture me totally.

With friends  only block busters were seen but as I  started  to sit by myself  and gradually  learnt the depth of any other short and subject  orientated  movie, it became  my first  choice  to see such makes.

As a professional  psychologist, I  have my own  perceptions  of the movie but now  when  my profession has tuned me to use my lateral  thinking  totally it becomes  a habit to start  thinking  as to  how each individual  personality would  understand  a particular  movie.  This process  sometimes  makes  me feel like  going and extending  my pleads to certain  filmmakers  that, "kindly  understand  the variety  of people  who might completely  misunderstand the meaning  of the movie and can take disastrous  steps blindly  following  it".

Also, when  certain highly intense  and creative  concept  is flashed  upon, it can make  any block  mind rethink about their beliefs  and  its a revolutionary  effect  if people can change  their  beliefs .... Which  again becomes  a huge responsibility  of these creative  people to put it across  so accurately  and precisely  to help minimum misconceptions  and maximum openness  and  acceptance to new ideas, the versatility  of this world  and the core human that is the pushing force for any act, thought, event, product, etc....

I  personally  salute to all those who have used this audio visual medium of expression  of ideas to generate values and creation  of  an evolved mind activity by putting  it across beautifully  as a combination  of audio, visual, glamour , music, etc can do wonders and that's  how many blocked  heads do not  perceive it as a positive contributer..

Nevertheless, to  all my lovely  readers, understanding  that any  make  is a creative child of  the film maker  should be viewed  with  an open mind but having  our own balanced  mind activated.

Take  Care....