Friends with benefits! !!!!!!

A Very Happy Friendship week to all !!!!!

Friends Forever is like a history in this jet age....especially if Friends are made with a selfish motive....

As a teen and even now meeting a friend for me would necessarily being connected to an individual who is so special that you are completely yourself at heart and soul which is generally less felt with relationships demanding a protocol.

Today as I understand things differently its rather very sad to realise that more and more people are looking at having Friends With Benefits! !!

For someone who isn't aware of this term; FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS are those friends who are more interested in being physically intimate with one another than emotionally .
The day I learnt this fact I was under a cultural and emotional shock as I found many who were playing this without offence.

There was once I heard that friends at school level are selfless but I guess its for most UNTIL YOU HIT PUBERTY ...because after which its not really sure as to who is friends with each other for they appreciate their inner person or the physical personality. ...

I still believe that friendship is one of the most closely felt among all societal relationships as there an individual is totally accepted without any barriers. ...the contamination of using this so very therapeutic relationship into a selfish physical act is not an everlasting bond..if its treated with BENEFITS..

Let me explain it this way...

A friendship which might definitely have a strong attraction for each other but converting it into a physical relationship leads to destruction of the friendship...as those individuals who never rated or compared one another on any other basis as their emotional comfort levels were excellent suddenly start to prioritise the friends where physical benefits are concerned ...this fact itself is an end to this so called lovely bond of being friends. ..

Many divorced couples are best friends later which means they were more friends then physical partners but it's not the way friends are chosen. ....Friendships just happen by itself its not what we choose on the basis of various benefits that could be derived out of it.....  and now I genuinely feel great to see people having friends with lesser looks, money, etc as it was that indivduality of a person which made him or her worthy of being a friend. ..

FRIENDS ARE A THERAPY IN ITSELF ....let's not pollute this very special relationship with any selfish motives.....

Wealth Accumulation Disorder

Greed as a Mental-Health Disorder

Greed can be traced to conflict in the unconscious mind.

Narcissism and greed produce personal and national self-sabotage.

People don’t have to be rich to have the disorder; greed about money is all it takes. As a psychiatric diagnosis, it could be called the Great Gatsby Syndrome or, better yet, Wealth Accumulation Disorder.

Both narcissism and greed have their roots in profound self-doubt. Narcissism is self-aggrandizement of the emotional kind, while greed is self-aggrandizement of the materialistic kind. Narcissism (when it occurs as pervasive grandiosity) is listed as a mental disorder in psychiatry’s diagnostic manual. Why not greed?
Narcissism and greed have other aspects in common. They both arise as disorders in people who, in their unconscious mind, are aligned with the conviction that they’re lacking in importance, significance, or value. Such people have difficulty feeling or accessing their own essential value. Instead, a deep negative sense of self contaminates their emotional life, and they resonate or identify with this inner default position.
Narcissists deny or cover up inner truth by believing, as they shower themselves in self-admiration, that they truly want admiration from others. Greedy individuals, meanwhile, believe they really want to feel value and worthiness, yet they go chasing after an illusion of value—materialistic self-aggrandizement—that can only deepen self-alienation.
All of us experience self-alienation at times.

Above lines are quoted by a mental health professional to which I need to support a few facts I observed while studying these cases...

Accumulated wealth is not only creating a mental sickness to the primary individual but also his family as the very sense that funds are lying in lots to either exploit it totally in yet other bodily pleasures or accumulate further more.

The sickening can be traced out by following traits seen in such people:

1. The idea that they can be in demanding position is often an urge behind fund accumulation.
2. The constant fear of negative things happening in future leaves them panicked and pushes toward more money.
3.The followers list is something these people crave for....they know that if not their inbuilt ability but wealthy status will pull more and more people towards them.
4. And the WORST OUTCOME. .. as money pulls more money by wealth growth planning. ..it becomes a habit to indulge into all or many unethical activities including womanising,  gambling, alcohol,  drugs etc as deep within the loneliness is creeped up.....

Having wealth is not criminal but the greed to have more and more is definitely dangerous as the disorder results in non functionality of balanced mind to skilfully use money for society as well...

Let's ponder on this. ...

Breast CANCER AND EMOTIONS .....

Cancer in the breast gland

The word lobular stands for cancer (cell growth) in the breast gland. It is caused by unexpected and dramatic worry or argument conflict. In the conflict phase there is cell growth of the breast gland cells. 
The biological purpose is this: If somebody needs my tenderness and care more milk is produced to give the “nutrition” in the situation. It is a completely normal process during a pregnancy. If and when you solve the conflict the whole organism switches to the regeneration phase. Then the tumour is destroyed with the help of mycobacteria. There is pain, swelling and odour. If there aren’t enough with myco bacteria, then the body encapsulates it. Cancer in the Breast Ducts Cancer in the breast ducts is in the layer that forms the walls of the breast glands. It is caused by a unexpected and dramatic separation conflict, when for instance an individual is being separated from a partner, parents, child or home. 
In the conflict phase there is cellular destruction in the breast which causes loss of sensitivity, the biological reason is to be better equipped to cope with the separation. In the regeneration phase there is cell growth to build up what was lost during the conflict phase, which leads to intensive swelling behind the nipple, inflammation, enlargement and hypersensitivity. 
After this healing the breast ducts are stronger than before. Findings of a Study Events like divorce, to be made redundant, or the passing away of a family member are associated with a higher risk that those affected by it develop breast cancer. (American journal of Epidemiology 2003;157:415-423) 

 
 The facts stated above might not hold true in every case but lets not forget that Psyche and Emotions form a major aspect of an Individual which undergo turbulent phases in this life span .All sorts of emotions are natural to human beings but venting out the negative ones is a crucial daily process which is as important as exhaling carbon dioxide or having a healthy digestive system. Combined with major other environmental and physical factors we SHOULD NOT IGNORE EMOTIONAL FACTORS that secretly contribute to the development of this deadly illness. As a RELATIONSHIP EXPERT ,I advise my clients to on a regular basis pen down their routine daily emotions which might be an unknown cause to further aggravate the building of emotional baggage leading to these issues.

Life will never be steady...UPs and DOWN s form the pattern of life  but if DOWN s aren't managed  well it leads to not only mental illnesses but illness that lead to DANGEROUS physical ailments ....Thus...lets take charge of our selves...and maintain a balanced mind that would help non aggravation of many physical sicknesses.

Extra Marital Affair ??? Or Extremely Selfish? ??

A Man seeks help when he is on the verge of hampering his professional image on account of his numerous affairs .....The story he told others was an old emotional tricky one that his wife is not supportive.... having more than a few dozens of girlfriends and still on the go was indeed an ailment he suffered from but there are people (both men and women) who start feeling a vaccum in relationship and are easily attracted to others .Being attracted to someone is a very common phenomenon ,the highlight is what each one does after that first vulnerable feeling....?????

It is not that all marriages are soul connections..
Many are compromised and many loose flavours over the years and these aspects are triggers to fall for someone else. ...its considered as  an anti social act to fall in love after marriage. .. it has its own reasons but the mentality of people who want their spouses intact and have a spicy life out is something that is cruel and completely negative. ...

Falling in love more than once in lifetime is experienced by almost all...some acknowledge it some don't but having a committed social relationship is termed as marriage and as a societal element we need to respect that or completely walk out.....the problem areas majorly are those who on account of not loosing out on social acceptance secretly maintain such affair and are self centred enough to have pleasures of stable family life and spicy secret life..

Some couples who don't indulge into secret affairs together set out to have fun and practice SWAPPING of partners and get a feel of loyalty ...the hidden urge in anything above is to get more than you have....it starts with DISSATISFIED APPETITE and NEVER ENDING THRILL that ends as a ruined life later....

If in any case the partner genuinely is unfit to stay with there are separation laws to officially start off a new life but unfortunately there are more cases found where both current partner is also wanted (for many reasons like...share in property, kids,social status etc) and the beloved friend with benefit is too a part of life.... This attitude is not healthy for even the individual and badly hampers the fragile minds of children (as it will not remain a secret for life....) who again refrain from serious relationship as they do not believe in loyalty.
If a person knows that living with one partner is difficult then a choice to NOT MARRY and NOT HAVING CHILDREN is worth the decision. ...

Have a good life!!!!

Today....is being a parent difficult or being a child????

PERFECT CHILDREN or PERFECT PARENTS? ???

A 16 year old comes and cries in front of me and while sobbing she complains how she isn't understood well by her mother.....

Often here when it comes to girls they start developing a gap with mothers  and mothers  with part ego and part worry are shattered with child showing indifference. ..

Similarly boys who again get into difference are diverted to peer groups with an effect of substance s getting them intoxicated. ..

These were some routine examples but having regular compliants of  rebellion attitude also gives rise to worry among parents. .

Having said all this. ..what seems more difficult? ??being parent or children? ??
Well definitely a tie but to be a child with mindless parents is definitely a curse....
No parent is evil especially when kids are concerned but like many other aspects a balanced parenting requires open mind and high level of acceptance.

From schooling to career parent's are competing amongst each other ...many a times it makes me wonder ,is it the child who is really of concern or is it your parenting that will be well appreciated with the childs performance. ...

Parents too ,being ordinary human at heart never realise when children become the objects of their unfulfilled aspirations and are unintentionally victimised to beat the million others to prove to be a good child. ..

It's like an implied game adults play using children as coins to prove themselves to be winners ...

Becoming a parent (whether it was planned or otherwise) is completely our responsibility but the child isn't our property ...they have an individual self which beyond a level should be allowed to learn with mistakes too. ..just stand by your child to guide them through at all important junctions. ...

Keep smiling!

I Am Always RIGHT! !!!!

I ,The Personal Pronoun I!

I is the most important element in this Universe and the weakest of all also reflect the strongest of "I".

Often we find ourselves justifying our point even after the apparent conflict is over but we fail to realise that we have given rise to internal conflict.

To make it more explanatory ;

Every moment or many times we undergo many differences with people around us ,be it personal or professional. All of us have a personality formed influenced by our cultures,education, intellect ,environment and experiences. These factors have a very strong hold over our thought processes which generally work in a set direction and at every stage in life we feel we have gained the ultimate knowledge from which we form firm blocks. ....these blocks close our mental doors to any conflicting yet innovative thought presented by someone ....this is when the urge to pour out our valuable belief is at its peak. Most of us even end up doing that but what is the outcome? ????

If people agree with us we feel elevated and more we firmly tighten our belief systems but ....If someone who disagrees;  we as humans cannot bear the EGO being challenged. ..intellect, etc being questioned  to which our emotions get deeply affected and a simple discussion or episode becomes conflicting. ...

The conflict thus ended even if was favoured in our interest after the storm of emotions poured out over the simple thing "I  AM RIGHT"....is raising an Internal conflict with self as it's this intellect that needs a stamp ....SOUL IS NOT EVEN CONCERNED with what's the conflict leading to.....

To put it in simple words. ...All Our Achievements ,Recognitions are for this societal approval of our existence ,the core self is not affected by our superficial acts thus I AM RIGHT really shouldn't have any impact on our peace within. ...
Approved or disapproved  by others if internal peace is stable then YOU ARE RIGHT,ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!!!!

What IF????IF (I FEEL)

I didn't post any message for a while as I was not sure of the subject  that would touch upon all in one way or the other....then there was this sudden realisation of a simple term that we are so very much connected every second. .that was FEELING.

By FEELING , I don't really mean all different emotions right now but a particular emotion we go nuts with...FEAR... And that raises all doubts in us stating What IF??

Being an ordinary being we end up assuming FEARFUL things moment we start on the lines of WHAT IF? ??

I was only wondering if those fears could be well replaced by any wonderful assumption wouldn't it be amazing? ?? Like for instance. ..A thought before any action in normal case ...What if I undergo so and so problem ...it will surely make us prepare for the contingency but can reduce the happiness substantially but the other thought...
What if I have an amazing experience? ?? This thought will boost up your confidence and motivate you further. ...

The point here is the IF should be understood as I FEEL and added with all positive possibilities to feel excellent about going for that act...

So next time try and replace any negative IF's  with a positive Possibility To Feel The Difference. ...

Stay chilled....