Sexual Repression gives birth to Vulgarity.....

This is a controversial topic in Indian Scenario where every mind is thinking about SEX but prohibited to talk about it... The society is conditioned since generations to remain sexually repressed under the cover of CULTURE...

Molestations within the families and family friends, brushing of bodies against privates, getting erection by mere sight of cleavage and fantasizing kinky sexual actions are all results of SEXUAL REPRESSION....

No particular gender is to be blamed here, it is the imposition of such guilt stricken thoughts that has bought this society to its threshold and now more and more people are out with a rebellious attitude towards breaking free this culture cage.

Culture should not be  forced stopping of something that's a natural flow but channeling the flow in right manner....

Let's imagine, a person deprived of food and water in the name of fasting without his own will and wish... He /she will either sneak out and eat and drink or if under no such option will snatch it to satisfy self..
Many a times, its not real hunger or thirst but inbuilt anger that plays the culprit.

We are blind followers of Religious practices and more dangerously its preachers... Weak minded people who can follow another fellow human being without using self gifted intellect is bound to be imprisoned by so called culture cage. Scriptures are also available in versions of different people and we take them as GOD'S statements... An human at its own SENSITIVE level, with a clean Conscience is far above and far learned than any of the said books... But the point is we are taught to listen to others but self.

Sexual thoughts and needs are basic needs of every individual... To prevent misuse and over indulgence into sexual issues we groom our children to not even mention it or talk of it.... The more we push them away the more they are desperate to know and get involved... Children sneak out to sexual acts because they cannot even talk about it... And that becomes a crime...

We have many so called cultured population within our society who never talks about sex only THINKS about it... And they are the ones highly dominant in their own sexual  life, who can only interact with said opposite sex with a complete vulgar mind and has to remain absolutely alert in keeping up that super cultural image all the time.

I am not promoting sexual talks by hitting on to this topic, my aim here is to bring about an awareness that what we think is culture is actually the cause in creating sexual desperation among the population.

There is a category which is  Maniac... These people are soaked into sexual thoughts 24X7,like those people who are obsessed with food inspite of having it in abundance... (they are excluded from this condition)

There's definitely a line, a limit to everything but here we are trying to deprive people of their basic needs under the name of culture and that is leading to many mental issues.

The kind of cases I have recently, it is more of a liberated lifestyle people are seeking... People are rebellious in taking a risk of their settled lifestyle just to experiment and indulge into a life where there are no limitations....

This urge is generated due to over prevention of natural needs and desires... If giving complete liberation is risky during teens (which is risky) then there should be proper communication and exchange of information from adults in the family to help lead a sexually healthy life for coming generations..

Even, open sexual talk at times can help in venting out of many risky underlying subconscious desires and can help in dealing with self created sexual feelings and can take a call between ethical and unethical moves.

I was wondering, why in our surrounding people are over protective for their women folks but drool over Sunny Leone s nudes and are all over porn sites..... It is that unsaid sexual streak within which gets into a desperation.... Culture I believe wouldn't allow these traits as well....

Culture would be.. Under closed doors, without any supervision,  if two sexually attractive strangers can  sit, glance, express in words about their attraction yet remain poised and calm only because they are committed to someone else and they choose not to be infidel.

Who can do this... Can be truly termed as cultured.... That's what I define culture as...

****Apologies if I ve hurt anyone but my purpose was general awareness ONLY not targeting anyone in particular ***

So, YOU DON'T SAY.... NO????

Oh boy! You couldn't say NO????

This situation is faced by many who are incompetent enough in saying an ASSERTIVE "NO"....

NO... Is not essentially a negative statement... We have been conditioned in a manner where we are trained that if we say NO it will be considered as a negative remark and will be a patch on the image....

Indians specially lack the art of assertive communication... To the extent, they can neither talk assertive nor accept assertive statements... To them people with assertive communication are rude and blunt.. But the very art of communicating with offence free assertive communication is to be PRACTICED and thus implemented.

We Indians are amazing at two ways of communicating.... Sarcastic and passive aggressive (diplomatic) way to communicate..... Psychologically, these are both termed as NEGATIVE COMMUNICATION PATTERNS.... The positive communication is Assertive communication which essentially has these features :

1.I respect my judgment or opinion or view

2.But,I also respect your opinion equally....

These are the underlying beliefs to adopt in assertive communication...

Thus, in a given situation when you are offered a lift from a colleague or an acquaintance where one isn't comfortable accepting it.. A straight NO is indeed RUDE, but saying YES initially and then when you are awaited you VANISH or give a lame reason is even more RUDE... infact, it is more INSULTING then even a straight NO...
in such cases specifically, Assertive Communication is a win win situation for both.... Saying something like, 'Thanks but I am not comfortable in accepting the lift... I am genuinely thankful for the offer'

This is being HONEST to SELF, HONEST to Others and giving due respect to the person/offer/emotion you are rejecting....

People who often either chose to say a YES for everything just to avoid further arguments and negotiations and to escape any communication error simply take care of the immediate situation by saying YES for anything and everything and eventually don't even bother to stand by it....

Such people are INSENSITIVE to their own apprehensions and discomforts and RUDE enough for others as they seldom realise the impact of the FAKE YES which meant a clear NO....

It is a need for each one of us to be liked and accepted by others but being liked temporarily is indeed a A foolish act where more dislike is generated towards the end... People who generally are not fond of their own self will end up into such hypocritical behavior...

Human beings should be primarily sensitive to  their own emotions and then towards others... Such people have fake relationships as they have been fake all their lives... They have unintentionally resorted to FLIGHT MECHANISM where they see a temporary solution to every situation by saying YES and they later elope with their confused state of mind...

People with this trait leave sufficient room for further communication with people by being GOOD ON THE FACE but they lose respect which is the essence of every relationship.... These escapists generally have a troubled inner self and are far away from inner peace.. These type of people are prone to hyper activity and impulsivity as a side effect to have victimized self with so many confusions and conflicts...

Let's learn the repercussions of practicing to become ASSERTIVE...

1. Initially one might end up being blunt and too straight with voice modality and emotional outburst.

2.might have to face allegations of being
rude and insensitive but there's a room for explanation if there's HONESTY...

3.MOST IMPORTANTLY..... There's no mental burden to having lied to someone and a deep relief to listening to your wish and need...
This is the biggest benefit that is derived out of ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION that you have chosen to respect your inner desire and also not kept someone in the dark...

Assertive Communication requires a COURAGEOUS mind and a BEAUTIFUL heart...

Love you all.... Please don't fool around with yourself...

Blue Rose LOVER!!!!

People in love usually exchange rose at least once in their life... Especially RED ROSE which symbolizes LOVE is most enchanting to love birds and they go ga ga over it... As teenagers , that is the love most of us experience and admire but there are flavors and colors of love at every stage and age....

Rose days are being celebrated in every corner of the world where people can express their feelings in different ways.. Like red denotes love, white symbolizes peace, yellow indicates friendship, pink for like, etc... Apart from these not many colors in roses are common especially in Place that I reside, so wouldn't be much aware of its color and significance....

Its an objectified way to express emotions at the end of the day but in real life there are people in each category that exist.... There would be people we only like or admire, some we really love and want us to love back, some we are plain acquaintances with, some we despise, but my favorite category is the one which is not known to anyone but self...

So many people I know have that secret love within which lives in them and often never dies.... That's not always because it was difficult to manifest that love but because it was selfless in nature....

Blue is the colour that's cold, gloomy, and desire less.... But its a color that seems peaceful too... Any shade of blue, the most vibrant one too cannot create anxiety within... Such is the place we have for someone in our lives and that's our SELFLESS LOVE...

This relationship might be impossible to surface on the societal fronts but this is the one that's deeper than anything else... I can almost relate to the spiritual element with such relationship where the blue rose lover is unaware of your deep love, zero expectations and yet inseparable part.... The most amazing part here is both these people are inseparable for each other but least dependent on each other as well....

We all might have carried on such relationships for ages and yet not known the power and pleasure to be into this as the strong selfish qualities in us only attract us towards those where we get something in return...
This is a human tendency but ultimately the spiritual self wins over.. If not now towards the fag end....

BLUE ROSE LOVER, is that spiritual love which never lets go off you, gives pain only to get a deeper understanding of self and has incredible intensity.... Have you figured out your blue rose lover?????

Toxic Relationships....!!! (Take a call)

I am wondering, how did I take so long to write something on toxic relationships... When now I open my mental eyes to witness so many I have pulled on for such a long span of time....

I have this weird habit of giving huge benefit of doubts to almost all the people I know, the end result was not bad when my personal growth was concerned, it did reflect a lot of things I needed to change in myself but somewhere in personal front when my close few were concerned some being relatives and some very close friends I was still emotionally getting harmed.... I did blame and worked consistently on my EQ(Emotional Intelligence) levels to bring about a peaceful state within but still something was a miss.

It was then when this insightful thought came up and I realized that I was completely unaware that I was holding on to TOXIC relationships with way too many people.

Like there's this relative of mine who herself has a very very low self image but will not hesitate to put me down when I myself sportingly can crack a joke on self... Similar is a so called VERY GOOD friend who will only and mostly indulge into conversations when she puts down other people criticize or condemn their actions and simply NAG, again an inevitable lady who can only self pity.... Surrounded by people like these, even if there's nothing sad happening in my life, I would be subconsciously pulled into their negative stride..

Such characters are there everywhere, but because of those cultural values instilled in me to keep up good relations with all I was taking in all the toxins. It is a threshold in life where one has to decide if we can overlook such negative people and yet move on with them or if our personalities cannot walk through them we need to leave them at one point.. It will take me a 360 degree turn in my personality to turn off from such people, it is now more a medication for my mental health whether it is a perceived as arrogance or attitude or aloofness.....

One another such relationship that I held on was a childhood friend and I should have taken a hint from the very approach that if its giving me a feel of worthlessness why on earth would any such person be important to me???? It is often a self created mental injury where you go with a platter of Emotional weapons and invite them to assault you with their silent violence.....

Its all about taking a responsibility of self... NO ONE EXCEPT WE ARE ENTITLED TO SELF CARE.. Its waste blaming people and circumstances, its time to MAKE A CHOICE.... with an EQ so poor, for people like me it takes their whole life to take stand but  BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, whatever few years we have to live, lets not live in regret that you didn't take care of your self dignity.... I still don't have ego to accept that few people are close to my heart but I need to give myself the due respect rather than expecting it from those who would only walk over calmly into their comfort zones...
Either ways, being easy is not to allow people to TAKE YOU FOR A RIDE, its about EASILY side tracking too all those who cause us discomfort....

Take care...

STOP being that TEACHER.....

A school going kid or an ailing old man
Self proclaimed wise, a human creature
Ready to guide, lead and be a preacher
We seldom have learnt yet aspire to be THAT Teacher... 樂樂

Advises are for free, in fact it is the only thing given generously and abundantly to whoever and wherever... I am saying this when my profession is to only COUNSEL but yet this is the core truth we all need to accept.. I can only pass on my academic and experienced knowledge to people approaching me but no one has gained that supreme power to be a life guide to anyone... A simple fact being HUMANS are born out of HUMANS, A formation of cells but yet a DIVINE creation which cannot be captured into books and scriptures.

From the time we begin to read and write and in case of illiteracy, a growth in age, we assume that we have that special ability to teach others.

Teaching worldly matters is bookish knowledge which is learnt after gaining prescribed qualifications from man made universities and there's this tag of a TEACHER given... It is a Noble deed to teach children but NO ONE can possibly take the charge to teaching people LIFE LESSONS as these are those which each individual learns in their different ways.. Life lessons aren't same as virtues and morals and ethics... These too are transferable.... Life Lessons are those special things learnt via life events.

Its amusing to see those specially who are carrying immense weight of their self generated EGO s and SUPREMACY who take up this charge to teach people lessons... These unfortunate people take rejection and apologies way too seriously and march towards becoming a life teacher to someone to merely live peacefully in their self created bubble. If there would have been a vision to see things beyond, no one individual will try overpowering other come what may...

Its now hilarious to see people exploiting someone merely to feel a high to having made them learn something crucial... In fact, its a foolish act to feel high over fellow humans who have created disrespect towards that bubble owner and these so called learned, wealthy or high profile Someones are deteriorating in their own self image.

The practical examples of such dumb heads are destruction of something or someone physically, mentally, emotionally to win over that conflict or difference...
Acid users for rejection of an individual proposal...
Physical, sexual benefits for someone in need of job or favor
Monetary or financial exploitation in exchange of an apology or helplessness
Etc
etc

Practically, every one is trying to teach someone else that if he or she is good at exploitation, they are supreme and they better be respected... This is like Robbing Respect which is most difficult to earn but each one wants to SNATCH IT, FORCEFULLY ACHIEVE IT.... The foolish human kind, in the race to capture that RESPECT from fellow human beings are more and more indulged into inhuman acts to ONLY gain DISRESPECT....

In nutshell, we shouldn't condemn ADOLF HITLER, for he had the insanity to openly go brutal to gain the superficial GODLY power, we are even worse, under the skin of nobility, we are on a constant run to teach LIFE LESSONS to all those who are against our belief systems in most cruel ways that can literally make people stop believing in HUMANITY on the whole...

God bless these LIFE PREACHERS and save victimized students of such TEACHERS....

LET'S NOT TAKE THE CHARGE OF TEACHING OTHERS, IF WE CAN POSSIBLY LEARN SOMETHING FOR SELF, IT WILL BE MORE THAN SUFFICIENT.....

Explosion of exploitation!!!

SELF PROCLAIMED INTELLECTUAL, SELF PROCLAIMED SUPER HEROES AND SELF PROCLAIMED SPIRITUAL GURUS...

Its a explosion of Fake and superficial dramas all around.. Be it intelligence, be it relationships, be it emotions... All around there is this very weird ACCEPTANCE rush.. In fact its not even Acceptance, it is the rush to stand above  others...

Everywhere I turn my face, I see people exploiting someone for their selfish motives, very rarely I find people with mutual love and care where EMOTIONS play genuine role... Each one desires to make it big in life not to HELP others but to EXPLOIT others to merely feel powerful...

Girls have started exploiting their sexuality not for SELF SATISFACTION but for luring MEN and to get their material benefits ... Such sexual exploration isn't LIBERATION, it is sheer misuse of that Vagina and  Breasts....

Men, on the other hand are wrongly motivated in such cases with the myth that all around girls are there to be exploited if they are ambitious or not... Strategies differ as per the role she holds but basic mindset remains same...

Being powerful is a boon which is seldom used for human welfare, it is justified if misused for self pleasures and bodily pleasures even if it means to degrade another human being for the same.

It is heart breaking to learn that people put in tremendous hard-work​, energies, etc to get a position in life ONLY to sleep with anyone and everyone and considering this as a LIFE ACHIEVEMENT....

Sexual Liberation is an entirely different thing where two people  have consensual make out whether it is love or attraction but throwing weight of power and position, in exchange of any benefit if someone is made to give in Sexually or manually it is a filthy mindset and these can probably never get out of the self designed fictional pit where glamour is the essence and the reason which has blind folded them...

There's actually no SUPERIORITY complex existing​, it is INFERIORITY which with many personalities comes out as SUPERIORITY... If these nutcases are hypnotized, one can gather the level of low self worth these people actually have...

Anybody, who knows their self worth will never try proving it to others in any manner, the ones who need to are the ones who desperately need people to approve of them.. They are the ones who don't have an inner voice, depth and are mesmerized by the  power shower by similar kind of souls.

Academic excellence and high public profile has nothing to do with personal humanity laws which unfortunately are neither taught nor learnt.. Only people with immense SENSITIVITY FOR OTHERS can incorporate them into their personal lives... Which means...
INTEGRITY NEVER GOES OUT OF VOGUE....

People living in self created bubbles should get back to reality check and stop generalizing....

FINANCIAL levels cannot be defined as power imposing element
Liberation does not mean Exploitation of those who have Independent thoughts and
Life is more beyond SEX and MONEY....

Thank You

Are we ENVY savvy?

ENVY....

Again, an Emotion we all have within at different degrees

and in different areas but is definitely there....

As humans only because we find all those we are envious of better than us, we also want to be in an enviable position ourselves to feel superior to others... I realised this weird game of envy after being a victim of both.. Getting envy category and enviable category as well..

I realised few bitter facts of life... People who envy others the most are essentially and most frequently the near and dear ones who constantly felt as sailing in the same boat and now suddenly one among us is at the top level.... Another category also is very pitiable when people strive hard to become best only among their tribe and communities to walk tall and enjoy a dominant position...

Ultimately, its all a ego race where each ones circle of envy defines their mental growth...

For instance in teenage, one individual who is attracted by another but that another is in love with someone else and there this envy is so common as it is that individual who feels something I deserved is going to someone else.... Now when professionals enter a race, the competition exists between same level people and same company and in personal front with ex classmates who have reached a different level... Also while in marriage people flaunt with their spouses, Children, houses, and lifestyles....
Now, this does not end here, there is this race existing till one dies.. As the race of spirituality ini a country like India.... So basically, envy becomes an inevitable emotion from the time a child loses his /her innocence till death and in the process people forget their spiritual growth....

We are so much involved in comparison with few those around us that we forget the Universe we are entitled to.... We who carry the entire universe within this intangible thing called as SOUL, end up being worse than animals who are into foul play to beat another one who is same as us and completely different than us..

People often forget universal rules of growth and that is very very simple... If we grow with others, the growth is overall but if one grows crushing someone else, the growth is only superficial which ends up as miserable...

The part which makes us spiritual beings is ultimately only peaceful if there is uplifting of others involved, we all have designated assets, which will never go anywhere, then why do we put others down to bring about that temporary fulfillment within us...

I don't know how much I am out of this envy disease but I  heartily wish that I prevent myself on bringing down anyone to prove myself at any point.... This limits my reach as proving myself to a bunch of people isn't my goal.. My goal is my soul which wants to feel deeply connected to all...

The way to reduce the envy effect is to focus on self growth and timely self Introspection to mend our ways..
Take care