Friends with Benefits.... (relationship)

Starts with being an acquaintance, to  a friend  and can  easily  lead  to being  FRIENDS  WITH  BENEFITS...

For  those  of you who are unaware  of this  term called  FRIENDS WITH  BENEFITS (FWB), It is a friendship  where  you also have courtship  without  commitment....

In many societies, this term can come as a shocker  where  as some societies  have accepted  this openly..... I  am  not  here to discuss  what  FWB is all about but its psychological  implications  in nutshell....

The important  thing  to  remember  here is an individual  perception of sex, love and friendship.... Each of these  terms  have  a dictionary  meaning  but do all  of us essentially  take it that  way? For  example, a couple  in love can  have  sex  to make love, to  express love..... A person  with an acute  physical  urge will  indulge  into sex as a mere biological  need, an Indian  married  couple takes it as a duty, etc.... As per Osho, sex  is that internal realization  or feel which a person  can  possibly  experience  and feel at the blissful  peak and thus is that  feel compared to the one which people get during  the oneness experienced  during meditation  and  this is  essentially  a soulful experience.....

If that holds true for many people, is feeling  of oneness possible for  these people while  they have physical  intimacy  with many  around.. ..... I  doubt...

One fact that  I  understand  is that  sexual  need  is both physical  and emotional  but which  one is more prominent  at  a time is the question  which is an answer too...

A marriage  thus should be more an open friendly  relationship  with each other which can serve the purpose  well but  the catch  in every  so called relationship  is the POSSESSIVENESS  and EMOTIONAL  INSECURITIES.... and marriage  might have maximum  as its a societal  bond which is more of  a social  status.....
Given such  limitations, more and  more  people  are trying  to fulfill  their  sexual  needs without  any commitments..... But as I  quoted  earlier  sexual  need can be both purely  physical  or emotional  or both and if its a professional  sex worker  there are no emotions  involved  what so ever and if its a lover  there are many unreasonable  emotions  involved  too..... And there the concept  of FWB served the purpose for many who find a marginal mixture  of both  the ingredients  in helping  people  get intimate  without  any  strings attached.....

Well, this seemed like  such an ideal way to operate  that people following  this fail to notice  some  important  things surrounding  such  arrangements.... Like:

One such relationship can make  an overall  perception  of all friends  who could be included in such arrangements.... Which  is not a healthy  sign

Other effects  being, there are  great  chances that  later either one can get emotionally  insecured for the  other...

If both have an excellent  physical  compatibility, and  they  decide to  tie knots  on  that  basis  alone.... Other aspects  may  cause  trouble  in future...

And a slightly  different  but according  to me the most difficult  kind of situation  will be where A HEALTHY, HEARTY, OPEN, EXCELLENT FRIENDSHIP  which was not  endangered  with any issues  can go UGLY by SEXUAL  interference  therein.... So, a greed  to  get physical  pleasure  from  friends  can destroy  a heartiest  friendship  and that is more disastrous.... As friends  are defined  as those  who  are not judgemental  about you  and this aspect (of being  non judgemental)   is difficult  to achieve  in any relationship  even  in FWB.....

So  folks, Think before  you  can walk that extra mile to derive an additional  pleasure  out of an amazing  friendship ...

Ideal life!!!!

Ideal life!!!

We all have dreamt and fantasized to lead an ideal life as per our perceptions.... But what is trouble  in real sense is that Non fulfillment  of our VISUALIZED  ideal life....
Mental health  issues  are mainly a product  of perfect  imagined life not being as per our  expectations.....
Also, it doesn't  mean we stop thinking  positive  and only absorb  negative  thoughts.... It is achieving  a balance  between  the both...
In simple words... For  a healthy  mind:
DO THE NEEDFUL WITH  POSITIVE  OUTLOOK
but
BE PREPARED TO FACE A CONTRADICTORY  SITUATION.....
this will help  in stabilization  of mental state in life events....

Regards

I for Image or I for Introspection

Image Image Image...... This word has taken its literal stand today and every one around is rushing  to acquire an IMAGE...

Who will define and what is this Image that  appeals  to all around  and people are going  ga ga over it????

After observing  thousands  around me and over social  media, it is only and only  the Public Image  that has taken the world  in its toll..... Image for  public, for  society  is not a bad idea as we are important  elements  of  this societal  form.... But  what about that time and money and  power  that we have been   totally  investing in this IMAGE BUILDING?????

There  are always  two sides  of the same coin..... So  if one side is so very well glittered and showcased to only impress, how about the other  side of ours?????

The amount of time that we have in life and the way we have our attitude  designed  it takes to be an extremely  talented  one to balance both sides  but logically , its very difficult  to  have keen interest  in developing  both  the sides  of this HUMAN  coin.....

Thus, most of us under the influence  of people and a superficial  way  to live life  has made large  amount  of people fall prey to only IMAGE BUILDING  where public will inspect you and  judge you and  there by applaud  you..... The momentary  satisfaction  that is gained is so intoxicating  that it seems  like an lifetime  achievement  award in  living a life full of excellence.... The mental state thus felt  is the very reason  that  will start leading  us in a devastating  inner life, that  side of coin which was never looked upon, never groomed or polished....

It is there, the other side, the inner self which  only calls for  attention  when people  around for whom all that  IMAGE BUILDING  was done  fall apart ...... There comes then a darkness which seems eternal and scary.... As now the ill inner side has to face the battle  which  it wasn't prepared  for....

Life, as it  was  always, can never shower  steady  sunshine everytime.... There  are  drastic changes which can emerge casually  but ignorant  ones can seldom  see it coming.... Thus, is the need, the call for paying  attention  to that  inner self of ours which takes  over the fighting  position  to roll us back  to  shining  days... Therefore, its I for INTROSPECTION  which can  give far more glow  to one's self  that  passes through  soul  to  the body..... It is thus a v important  investment  to help us in all phases of life...

IMAGE BUILDING  is a great  tool to have a confident  outlook with  the way we carry ourselves  but core  issues  can  only be tackled  with an INTROSPECTIVE  APPROACH to have a balanced life....

Let's  only understand  the difference  between  what's  temporary  and permanent  while putting in all our lives  in that..... Introspect  as to why  Image  building?????? You ll get an answer....

Actually, You want to RULE????

Mind is slave  to many  things  that are absolutely  temporary  but  give immense bodily pleasure  and thus this mind is engaged  in accumulation  of such resources  which makes one POWERFUL and can easily  consume all those money buying pleasures....

I am totally confused  with the way people are  running  around to achieve  material  gains and then  with stress  and all sorts of manipulation stuffed within, rush to temples  to balance  it off.... The question  still remains... What is it that we are aiming  at????

Temples  where each one should  be treated equally is also busy  in categorization  of praying  preference  within the temple premises  based  on POWER.... This is a sad state  we are living into..... The more we are advancing technically , the more  are our human values deteriorating....

I remember  a very apt question  asked by a renowned  author  to self acclaimed  spiritual  guru of current times. He asked the  guru, "is spirituality  only for  the rich?" A mind boggling  question  which  unfortunately  our great guru  couldn't  answer..... But it left me in a thinking  process  as to..... If minutely observed.... People without  resources  who are struggling  to experience  peace  within  aren't  even exposed  to any learned individual  who can  initiate  the push  within  that  person  to step  on path  of spirituality.... If at  all then  they attend  mass lectures of these  enlightened  people, they are forced to believe what they understood  and unfortunately, most  of it is loaded with fears...... So people end up into religious  ritual  and seldom spirituality  per se....

The scenarios  around  make me feel  strongly  that  ultimately  as we are slaves  to innumerable  habits and  things, heart of hearts, the POWER  ACCUMULATION  RUN is also targeted  at making many around  us slaves to our power  and that's  usually  the sadist  hidden desire  which no one will accept....

With or without  substance, if  an individual  is powerful, he automatically  has dictating  powers  to  feel like a ruler... If not world around  then immediate  family  members  and friends  are  most  likely  ones  who  are  victims  of the  powerful  arrogance...

Its a devastating  viscous  circle  and unfortunately  more and more educated  and learned  people are victims  of this  urge to accumulate  huge power  to satisfy the inner desire  of ruling over others..... I  encountered  an eighth  grade boy who  openly expressed  his life goal  was to become  GOD, so  that  he can rule  all..... I  wasn't  annoyed, rather was  worried  about  the huge suppression  within  this boy who is desperate  enough  to vent  it  all out as soon  as he becomes  powerful....

People, its wonderful  to be  successful , but what's  the ultimate  aim  of life is not to be misunderstood  and clubbed with  professional, material  success..... It can prove hazardous  if aim is not right.....

Take care